John Quotes ~ Vol. 5

I was singing a song to John and one of the lines was: "I had a heart forever true, but it left me and went to you. So guard it well as I have done, cause you have two and I have none."
The following conversation ensued:
John: Where's your heart?
Me: You have my heart!
John: It's not in my hands.
Me: Where did you put it?
John: I put it next to the goat shed.
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At the table eating lunch, John coughed while drinking apple juice:
John: It went down my wrong way.
Me: It went down the wrong way?
John: Yeah, and in my bottom. It made poop for me!
(Where does he come up with this stuff??)
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John picked up an empty beer bottle from Andrew's home brew crates:
John: Beer bottle!
Me: You don't drink beer, you're a kid!
John: I'm a beer guy!