Tomorrow marks week 39 for me and our baby girl. Which means I probably have 1 to 3 weeks left! John was 9 days late and induced and Peter was 12 days late before I went into labor naturally. We are hoping for a natural birth again with this baby, so we shall see if she is more punctual than her brothers. - please, oh please!!
My feelings emotionally...
Last week was very emotional for me. I felt like I was on the verge of crying at any moment - happy or sad. On my way to my doctor's appointment last week, I dropped the boys off with my mom and went by myself listening to the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack in the car. Sunrise, Sunset came on and I lost it. Especially in these last few weeks, I can really relate to the fact that with each sunrise and sunset, I come one day closer to meeting our new child, and one day closer to our lives changing forever (in a great way).
I also get teary when I think about my little Peter, who will get booted out of the position of "baby" in our household. He is so sweet and will still come and snuggle some mornings in our bed with me. I love holding his little body and breathing in the smell of his hair. I know I'll still love doing that, but I also know that having a baby around will automatically make him a "bigger" boy, at least in my perspective.
John, on the other hand, is so big to me already - in stature and maturity. I am very excited to see him care for his sister. The vulnerability and helplessness of an infant is one of life's greatest lessons, and I am excited to see John in the roll of provider, even if it's just in small ways. It will also be great to have him around as Peter's accomplice. I know they'll still need my love and care, but having each other as entertainment will really help me (I hope!).
This week I am holding my tears back more and feel more determined to get things done and prepared. Yesterday alone, I got more done around the house than I usually do in a week!
I've been feeling great! Especially this last week, I've had tons of energy. During my 1st and 2nd trimesters, I took a nap most days, but lately I've been getting up early and had energy to keep me going all day. Granted, I'm usually waddling and hobbling around, but I could take on the world!!
I'm sleeping comfortably, but I do wake up to adjust my position every once and a while, which takes a lot of effort. When I'm up and going, I feel great, but once I lie down, it's hard to move.
Right before Thanksgiving, we had a worry because my belly was measuring small. So we were worried that something could be wrong with the placenta. I had an ultrasound done and that checked out fine, which was a huge relief. Our girl is just more petite than the boys.
Having a baby growing inside me will always be astonishing. Sometimes I look at my belly and it is so hard to believe that I am carrying around a practically full-term baby. The miracle of life is humbling to be a part of.
It has been great thinking of Our Blessed Mother as I journey along side her own liturgical pregnancy with Jesus. Most recently, I was feeling very overwhelmed by not being prepared enough for our daughter's birth. But then, I considered how Mary was traveling so late in her pregnancy and had so many unknowns to worry about - she didn't even have a place to stay! She gave birth in a barn and had to lay her sweet new Baby in a food trough for animals! So no matter how unprepared I feel, looking at Our Lady's trust that God will provide for her is a huge comfort and relief to me. I don't have to have it all together, I just need to trust and most of all, prepare my heart to welcome this new eternal soul into my care.