39 Weeks! Pregnancy Update

Tomorrow marks week 39 for me and our baby girl. Which means I probably have 1 to 3 weeks left! John was 9 days late and induced and Peter was 12 days late before I went into labor naturally. We are hoping for a natural birth again with this baby, so we shall see if she is more punctual than her brothers. - please, oh please!!

My feelings emotionally...

Last week was very emotional for me. I felt like I was on the verge of crying at any moment - happy or sad. On my way to my doctor's appointment last week, I dropped the boys off with my mom and went by myself listening to the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack in the car. Sunrise, Sunset came on and I lost it. Especially in these last few weeks, I can really relate to the fact that with each sunrise and sunset, I come one day closer to meeting our new child, and one day closer to our lives changing forever (in a great way).

I also get teary when I think about my little Peter, who will get booted out of the position of "baby" in our household. He is so sweet and will still come and snuggle some mornings in our bed with me. I love holding his little body and breathing in the smell of his hair. I know I'll still love doing that, but I also know that having a baby around will automatically make him a "bigger" boy, at least in my perspective.

John, on the other hand, is so big to me already - in stature and maturity. I am very excited to see him care for his sister. The vulnerability and helplessness of an infant is one of life's greatest lessons, and I am excited to see John in the roll of provider, even if it's just in small ways. It will also be great to have him around as Peter's accomplice. I know they'll still need my love and care, but having each other as entertainment will really help me (I hope!).

This week I am holding my tears back more and feel more determined to get things done and prepared. Yesterday alone, I got more done around the house than I usually do in a week!

Physically...

I've been feeling great! Especially this last week, I've had tons of energy. During my 1st and 2nd trimesters, I took a nap most days, but lately I've been getting up early and had energy to keep me going all day. Granted, I'm usually waddling and hobbling around, but I could take on the world!!

I'm sleeping comfortably, but I do wake up to adjust my position every once and a while, which takes a lot of effort. When I'm up and going, I feel great, but once I lie down, it's hard to move.

Right before Thanksgiving, we had a worry because my belly was measuring small. So we were worried that something could be wrong with the placenta. I had an ultrasound done and that checked out fine, which was a huge relief. Our girl is just more petite than the boys.

Having a baby growing inside me will always be astonishing. Sometimes I look at my belly and it is so hard to believe that I am carrying around a practically full-term baby. The miracle of life is humbling to be a part of.

Spiritually...

It has been great thinking of Our Blessed Mother as I journey along side her own liturgical pregnancy with Jesus. Most recently, I was feeling very overwhelmed by not being prepared enough for our daughter's birth. But then, I considered how Mary was traveling so late in her pregnancy and had so many unknowns to worry about - she didn't even have a place to stay! She gave birth in a barn and had to lay her sweet new Baby in a food trough for animals! So no matter how unprepared I feel, looking at Our Lady's trust that God will provide for her is a huge comfort and relief to me. I don't have to have it all together, I just need to trust and most of all, prepare my heart to welcome this new eternal soul into my care.

My New Diary...

I think about my little blog quite often - at least once a day. Whenever I have a spare moment I think, oooooh maybe I could go write a post right now! But then I think of all the other things I could do around the house or with the boys and the blog always gets shoved on the back-burner. Then the evening comes and the wee-ones are tucked it, but alas my brain is fried at the end of the day, making it so difficult to get my words out.

I've thought a lot about the blog and it's purpose in my life. I read many blogs and so I have this mental image of what a blog is supposed to be and how often I should post. But I don't really want to have a "big" blog. I don't like thinking about total strangers reading about our personal lives. Yet, I do want to stay connected with my family and friends (and Facebook doesn't cut it all the time), and I do want to keep records of the details in our lives and the boys growing up so I can look back on it in the future - like a diary. 

So I will attempt to trudge forth and do my posts whenever time and inspiration allow. However, I do want to share with you something that has really made memory-keeping easy. I got the idea off of Pinterest:

"It's a daily calendar that is reused each year and gets better the longer you use it. Each day you write the year and something that happened that day like, "(Child's name) took her first steps." Imagine how neat it would be in 10 years."

I took this idea and decided to make it even easier by making it digital. I made a Word Document and titled it "On this day..." then I type the month and day, then the year - with one or two sentences about what happened that day. I've been doing this for over a month now and it is really easy to keep up with. And trust me, this Mama likes easy! I also like it because I'm not planning on sharing it with the world, so it doesn't matter if I'm eloquent, I just want to give my future self a few thoughts to jog my memory. Here is a sample of what I've written over the last few days:

April 5 

2013 - Friday, No mothers’ group. Went grocery shopping then to Grandma’s for a visit. We went out to Puerto Vallarta for dinner as a family and some people having a birthday thought the boys were cute and gave them each a balloon! 

April 6 

2013 - Saturday, Andrew and I both exercised! We are trying to get in shape and starting the journey! 

April 7 

2013 - Sunday, We arrived early to mass today and sat near the front!! Came home and cleaned the house. Had the Herrings over for dinner, the kids ran around like crazy!  

April 8 

2013 - Monday, Warm overcast day. We played outside and removed the fountain in the front and filled it in with dirt. John found a “sam-ann-ter” (salamander) and had fun torturing it playing with it. He was very intrigued.

My plan is to write future years under the same Month/Day. So for example, in three years, April 6th might look something like this:

April 6

2013 - Saturday, Andrew and I both exercised! We are trying to get in shape and starting the journey!

2014 - Sunday, Went to Mass and had a vision of our Blessed Mother.

2015 - Monday, Andrew let me sleep in and made breakfast for me in bed. PJ and JV cleaned the house for me.

2016 - Wednesday, Juniper Willow St.Hilaire was born this morning. She was born at 9:30am after a long restful night of sleep. Quick and easy labor and delivery with no complications. I'm already back in my pre-pregnancy clothes!

Yah, now let's wait and see if that all really happens!! ;) But it's cool, because you can look at any one day and see all the things you've done on that day. It will be really neat for the holidays because I can never remember all the details after a few years have gone by.

Anyway, I thought it was a good idea that I wanted to share with all you busy people out there who want to remember the simple day-to-day life that slips away so quickly.

Ta-ta for now!

On Heaven... with a 3 year-old

This is a conversation that took place a couple weeks ago:

We were just about to sit down to breakfast when John got a really sad look on his face and, out of no where, managed to mumble, "I don't want to die!" We didn't quite hear him right: "You don't want to what??"

"I don't want to die!" He repeated. He had a look of sadness and terror in his eyes.

My heart went out to him! We sat at the table and started to eat while Andrew and I talked it over with him. We told him that everyone dies at sometime but if he is a really good person and loves Jesus, then he will go to heaven when he dies.

He told us he didn't want to be a good person - I think he was thinking that if he was a bad person then he wouldn't have to die. We explained that even bad people die, but if he is a good person then he will have eternal happiness with Jesus.

I could tell this gave him some consolation, but he was still concerned. "You need to have another boy, Mama," he told me.

"What, why?" I was confused.

"And name him John, OK?"

*Melting heart* I ran to him and sat him on my lap. "Awe honey! When you go to heaven, we will all be there together! We won't need another John because YOU are our John and we will be together with Jesus! And heaven is going to be such a happy place!"

I was surprised how long the conversation went on. We talked about a lot of different aspects of death and I don't remember all the details. But I do remember that we were talking about being buried when we die and that Jesus will raise us up. John told us that he wanted to put a door on his grave so that Jesus could open it. =)

I'm continually amazed that John already seems to understand that this life is not our destination...

House Hunting

We are currently in the exciting process of house hunting. It really is fun and makes me giddy, similar feelings to when Andrew and I were first dating. As a renter my whole adult life, I never knew house hunting would feel like this!

I love the big deck too!

We've been out three times so far and will be going again later today. I was quite smitten with an old farm-styled house built in 1901. It featured high ceilings, a beautiful wooden staircase, entry living room, dining room, den, big kitchen, beautiful yard. There were some quirks for sure, but I couldn't stop day-dreaming about the house. I would imagine how we would set up our furniture, having all the toys in the den which is right by the kitchen so that I could be cooking while the kids were playing. I imagined John and Peter coming down the old staircase in their pajamas on Christmas morning, seeing a huge tree in the front room...

I recognized that it probably wasn't good for me to think all these things, so I tied to stop. I offered it up in prayer: "Please let me be at peace if this house doesn't work out!"

We saw it three times and the third time we brought a coworker who has experience with construction. He agreed that it was a beautiful home with a lot of character, but quickly pointed out some major (expensive) issues. It seems that the previous owners fixed up the house to have great curb appeal, but the main structure wasn't that great, particularly the foundation.

So we decided to move on. We don't want to get involved with a house that is a money pit. I was sad, but also feel closure, knowing that it wasn't the prefect fit for our family. I've seen the house a few times on real-estate search engines and there is a slight pang in my heart - like I broke up with a boyfriend or something... =)

I know the right one is out there!

Dear Fred Meyers...

My letter to the Fred Meyer Customer Relationship Center:


Dear Fred Meyer Customer Relationship Center,

I have been a loyal customer in Bremerton, WA for the last three years and am generally very happy with your store. I love the employees and your product selection. I go shopping every week and we know many of the employees on a first-name basis.

My discontent is regarding your “Family Friendly” checkout lane. As a mother with small children, I always refuse to use any other lane. You can imagine my shock when I noticed this month in the family lane a “Betty and Veronica: Double Digest” comic book (#199) that showcased the girls in immodest swimsuits on the cover. This image is an objectification of women and is very inappropriate.  I do my best to protect my children from such images. That is why I refuse to check out in any other lane, and now the filth is encroaching on the one-and-only isle that is supposed to be safe for my children’s eyes. Please value the innocence of all the children in your stores and do a better job of selecting material for the family friendly lane.

On a similar note, the family lane in my store is very popular and it is clear to me that your patrons would be happy to see more lanes that were friendly to families. In fact, I find it odd that any of your lanes would be “un-friendly” to families as implied by your need to have one labeled as being “friendly.” All the material that is un-friendly to families should be located in a different part of the store - in a place that is not so visible by everyone. I realize that you have contracts with magazine distributors and you might lose money by removing them from each checkout lane, but I urge you to refrain from exposing indecent material to every customer that has to check out of your store.

I thank you in advance for your attention to these important matters.

Sincerely,
Lindsey St.Hilaire

Mommy Hair

I'm always looking for quick ways to make my hair look cute. I came across this hair tutorial and tried it the other day. I liked it! It was simple to do and I like that my hair was out of the way.

image source (totally not me!)

The girl who did the tutorial has a great beauty youtube channel that I like to follow (linked above). Her demonstrations are simple and they inspire me to try and look my best.

Another quick hairdo I like is a topsy-turvy bun. I just make a quick, messy bun with my hair and then do this to it. It ends up looking like this:

Any other suggestions for quick mommy-dos?

5 Tips for Reducing Children's TV Time

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Last Lent (2011) we gave up TV, including John. I didn't think it was going to be that hard, but it made me realize how much I was letting John watch TV during the day. He usually watched a half hour show during the day, which is probably less than average. It was a nice break for me and he enjoyed that TV time. He would usually watch an episode of Blues Clues, Kipper, Thomas the Train, or Dragon Tails. I didn't see any harm in it... until we gave it up.

During the first week of those forty days, John would get really crabby because he wanted to watch a show and I realized that I had been using that TV time to get things done. Essentially, it was babysitting John for me - something I vowed would not happen when I became a parent. But it's such an easy thing to get in the habit of! It turned out to be a great Lent and my eyes were opened to see that I can get things done without having the TV on for John. After Lent was over, we started watching shows again, but it's different now. He typically watches TV once a week and it is now a family time, where we all watch it together (minus Peter of course!).

If you are a parent who wants to reduce the amount of TV your children watch and still have time to get things done, here are some tips that helped us make the transition:

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Set up Play-Doh or another craft that isn't too messy at your kitchen table. When he was younger, I would put John in his highchair to contain him and the mess. This works well when I am making dinner.

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When your children are playing alone, use your time wisely to get important things done - this could be anything from relaxing to scrubbing the toilet - whatever is most important to you! In my experience, if I am deliberate about what I do in my "free-time", there is plenty of time to get things done without having to use the TV as a babysitter.

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Audio books can be a great alternative to TV because they are entertaining, don't require parental involvement and still utilize your child's imagination. We have Strega Nona on CD, read by the author, and John LOVES it! Be sure to check out the audio book section at your library!

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Keep your kitchen sink clean and empty so you can pull up a chair and have your child play in the water with some plastic toys (another good activity during dinner prep). I put a towel on the chair to make it less slippery and use it to clean up any spills after playtime.

Hard to believe this was over a year ago!

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Have kids "help" with the chore. Some examples:

• Dusting: give your little one a cloth so they can help
• Sweeping: give your child a little dust pan and brush
• Vacuuming: give them the attachments so they can pretend to vacuum also

Check out this post for ways kids can help in the kitchen at every age.

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Do you have any other ideas? I'm always looking for new things to try!

Grocery IQ: App Review

I've toyed around with a few different applications on my phone for grocery shopping. Andrew suggested I try Grocery IQ. He found out about it through Life Hacker. I decided to give it a go.

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It is SO wonderful!  Here are some of my favorite features:

• Organized List: I can organize my groceries by category. This eliminates me having to go back to different areas in the store if I forget something because it wasn't ordered properly on my list.
• Syncs with online account: I do all my meal planning on Google Calendar.  I can sign into my Grocery IQ account on my computer, which makes adding things very easy! (I type way faster on an actual computer than on my phone...) I enjoy being able to toggle back and forth between Google Calendar and Grocery IQ on my computer. Then the online account syncs up automatically with my phone!
• Email: My shopping lists can be emailed to anyone with the click of a button! This came in handy last week when my parents offered to go to Costco for us. I clicked the button to send my list to her. She was able to print it off and it was still organized by category!
• Shared account: I gave Andrew the password to my online account so he can add things to the list too.

There are many other features, but I appreciate those the most. The downside to having your grocery list on your phone is you are staring at your phone the whole time you shop. I just think that looks bad and that people think I'm neglecting my kids. But I guess it's no different than staring at a paper grocery list.

What do you use for your grocery list?

Good Reads: Posts I’ve Enjoyed

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Organizing Junkie: When Kid's Play Spaces Take Over YOUR Spaces! - We have to deal with this in our living room because it also contains all of John's toys. We have a toy box, but I also like the activity mat idea in this post.

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Catholic Icing: Lenten Navigation Page - Good source for living out the Lenten season with kids.

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Karen Edmisten: A Meaningful Lent - Long but good post about having a meaningful Lent for the whole family!

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Mama Natural: 10 Tips for Flying with a Toddler (video and text)- We're not planning on flying anytime soon, but these are good tips for the future!

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Star of the Sea: Fr. Lappe's Homily on Marriage - I wasn't able to hear this in person, so I'm glad it was put online!

Almost three

John is my sweet, pouty, imaginative, know-it-all, sensitive, strong-willed, friendly, clingy, compassionate, moody, honest, loving almost-three-year-old. This morning he got up at about 7:20am and immediately wanted me to fix his little airplane that hangs from the ceiling in his bedroom. Whenever I hear John's door open I always quickly (slowly and carefully) get out of bed because I am afraid that John will come up in our bed and wake up Peter. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to snuggle up with John, but let's just say he is very squirmy when he snuggles.

I whispered to John that we will fix the airplane after Daddy and Peter wake up. He instantly dropped to the floor as though my words pierced his heart. I went to the bathroom and he sneakily climbed in our bed. Picking him up ever-so-gently, we went into the living room where he announced to me that me that he no longer loved me and my hair smelled bad (pretty sure he was smelling my morning breath...). How do you respond to a blow like that? I simply told him that he hurt my feelings and made me very sad. About two minutes later he hugged me and said "I DO love you!"

That is life when you live with a pre-schooler... all these emotional ups and downs all day long. Sometimes he says the sweetest things and then he'll turn around and defiantly say "NO" when I ask him to do something. It pulls on my heart strings, and I wouldn't trade him or this time with him for anything in the world.

 Currently one of John's favorite toys. This thing has chugged miles around our house!

He stole my scissors for this cutting session, but he is getting pretty good with his small safety scissors! He is also very interested in puzzles. I'm amazed at his spatial skills.

I found this idea to do with John during Lent. It's a bean jar. Every time he does something good, he gets to put a bean in the jar. On Easter the beans turn into jelly beans. However, at his age, we are going to turn the beans to jelly beans on Sundays. Also for Lent, I'm hoping to get him to make the sign of the cross. He says the words but doesn't do the gestures.

This is a very formative time for him and for me as a parent. Right now Andrew and I are laying a foundation, whether we acknowledge it or not, that will support John as he grows in maturity. I have bad parenting days for sure and I try to read books that will inspire me to be better. And when I have even a moment to reflect on the whole situation, I realize that John will be a man someday. Obvious, I know, but I think it's easy to forget when you're in the trenches of parenting. Right now, I have two boys in my house who will be grown men in a relatively short time, who have specific vocations, who will impact the world, who may have children of their own someday, and who have eternal souls that have been entrusted to my care. I forget all that when faced with a blowout or a yelling child.

Lenten Beginnings

Yesterday was the beginning of the season of Lent. Andrew asked me if I was excited... "yes?" I replied. It didn't sound convincing. I guess Lent is always hard because it forces me to examine my life in light of who I am meant to be. What is off in my life? How can I be a better mother, wife, and daughter of God? These are challenging questions. It's easy to lose track during the rest of the year and develop bad habits. This is why Lent is so necessary!

In college, I was in a group of people who were pretty hardcore in their sacrifices. Some slept on wooden boards, ate only liquid foods, gave up sarcasm, makeup, or looking in mirrors. One year I tried giving up electricity. My parameters were I never turned lights on, I took cold showers, washed my clothes in cold water, washed dishes by hand. It was kind of fun... for about a week! Then it became pretty challenging - especially taking cold showers! Finally someone knocked some sense into me: Why are you doing this? How will this sacrifice bring you closer to Christ? These questions made me realize that I might be doing it for the wrong reasons. Namely, to get a taste of the romanticized olden-days that I've so often longed for in my youth.

Now I am more careful about choosing my sacrifices and examining my motives. This year I have on my heart to focus on being a better wife and mother through prayer and spending quality time with my family. I've been reading the 10 Habits of Happy Mothers and it's giving me a lot to think about and at least one good idea for Lent. Which is calling at least one friend once a week, or better yet, going to visit with a friend. This will help me to reach out socially and connect with people I care about.

This sounds silly, but one struggle I have is getting dressed in the morning. This really impacts my day in a bad way. I feel like I am so busy taking care of everyone else, that I don't take care of myself. It doesn't feel good to stay in pajamas all day! I'm sure all the stay-at-home-moms out there with little kids can relate! During Lent, I am going to work on this by getting dressed before 9am.

As a family, we are going to give up TV. This should free up some time in the evening for more blogging! =) Andrew pointed out to me that I took a month off between January and my post yesterday. Ooops.

Another sacrifice I am going to do is to clean one part of the house each day that will likely go unnoticed. Shhhh - don't tell Andrew! I think this will help me to pay more attention to the little things around the house and clean without seeking praise. At Mothers' Group someone mentioned saying "Hail Marys" while scrubbing the toilet! HA! Maybe I can incorporate that into my cleaning too!

Happy Lent to you all!

Peter Stats

I took Peter in a few days ago for his belated 2 month check-up. It confirmed what we already knew - we've got a big baby! 15lbs 11oz, 25 inches long, and 17 inch head circumference = 97th percentile on all counts! At least he is proportionally large!

On Monday he went to his 3rd chiropractic visit. She told us he was perfect! So now we don't have to go in again. I'm so glad the adjustments worked and he is all better.

He used to be pretty crabby, but over the past month or so he has calmed down and is generally very happy. I remember when I was in the hospital the day after he was born and he started to fuss. My friend Becky was holding him and asked me, "What does he want?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't know, he is like a stranger to me." She gave me a weird look, but it was true - when you have a new baby you love them and have a strong bond to them, but it takes time to learn what their different cries mean. I'm happy to say now that he is no stranger! He is my little side-kick and I love being able to read his signs.

He is now approaching the three 3 month mark and I am really enjoying his age. His big past-time right now is sucking on his right hand (I wonder if that means he will be right-handed...). He is even getting a little rash on his chin from his drool. His sleeping patterns are starting to set in, which means I am able to keep up with some daily routines. At night, he usually only wakes up once to nurse and is a sound sleeper the rest of the night. I'm thankful for that!

Until Next Year...

We had a good run, O' Christmas tree, but the time has come to say good bye. It's bitter-sweet. Sweet because your departure means that I can get on with organizing and cleaning the house. Bitter because it means Christmas is over and you won't return for another year.

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As a grown up, a year doesn't seem that far away, but when I think that my boys will each be a year older - that seems crazy! Peter will probably be walking! John will be even more eloquent, independent and potty-trained (please, oh please!). A year is a long time in child-years.

Today as I laid by the tree with John, I realized that I will only have 16 Christmas' left with him living in the house. Might seem like a lot, but I know it will fly by.  I'm going to cling to these years like Pooh Bear to his Hunny Pot.  It's been a sappy day for sure.  To top it off, "What a Wonderful World" played on my Pandora station while I was rocking Peter to sleep.

So tomorrow is the day, I will pack all the Christmas decorations away. Probably during John's nap. I don't want to traumatize him with de-decorating!

More to come later about all the festivities. For now, here is a picture of the boys cuddled up in matching PJs (thanks Grandma and Grandpa!) watching the Grinch.

Peter Julian's Birth Story

Below you will find Peter Julian’s birth story. It is written to him and I plan on putting it in his baby book for his first birthday, as I did for John. Warning - it's pretty long! =) 

~~~ 

We eagerly awaited the blessing of a second child. It took six months before you were conceived and this was a sign to us of God’s perfect timing. When your dad and I got married we made the commitment to let God plan our family. It was a lesson in patience for me when month after month, I was not pregnant and then finally in January of 2011 - the pregnancy test was positive and you were present on this earth! We joyfully welcomed your eternal soul into our family!

I also learned to be patient at the end of my pregnancy because you were not born on your due date - just like your brother, John. My goal was to birth you naturally, with no drugs of any kind. I had the same goal for John’s birth, but because I was induced and didn’t know much about the birthing process, I ended up getting an epidural. But with you, we prepared ourselves by taking class on natural child birth. Even though we were still anxious about your birth, we felt more prepared this time.

Since you went past your due date, our doctor suggested inducing and advised us that we should not wait longer than two weeks. We scheduled the induction exactly fourteen days after your due date - to take every chance we could to let labor begin naturally. As we neared the fourteenth day, we questioned whether we should go through with the induction or keep waiting. Thankfully, you were born on the twelfth day, so we didn’t have to make that decision!

Days and days passed with no sign of active labor. Grandma St.Hilaire came down for a few days before your birth to help me around the house and entertain your brother, John. We had told her and Grandpa Stockton a few months prior that they could be present at your birth. She had never seen a birth and we wanted to give her that special gift of seeing her new grandson being born. It was such a blessing to have her stay with us and her company made me feel less impatient for your arrival. 

I did a lot of walking to help bring on labor. A couple of days before your birth, I started feeling contractions when walking with Grandma St.Hilaire and John. That made me hopeful, so the next day I went on three walks! That night around midnight I began to feel regular contractions. They were not painful, but they were strong enough that I couldn’t really sleep. I stayed in bed and tried to rest. Around five in the morning I got up to get a bite to eat, knowing that I should eat while I could since, once admitted to the hospital, the nurses would not let me eat. Sourdough toast and string cheese sounded good to me, so that’s what I ate while sitting on my exercise ball. I woke your dad up a couple of times during the night so he could time the contractions. Thankfully he was able to get a good amount of sleep so that he was well-rested in the morning.

Your dad took the day off from work and we sent John upstairs to be with Grandma and Grandpa Stockton and Grandma St.Hilaire. It was so nice spending the day with your dad. We played Dr. Mario together, went on walks, and danced! It was actually fun being in labor! I felt like the whole day was one long date with your dad!

Based on what we learned in our birthing classes, we thought that I was in early first stage labor for most of the day. Hours went by and not much seemed to change. So we kept enjoying ourselves between the contractions with more games and fun. When a contraction came on, your dad would help me through it with encouragement and massage. Around four in the afternoon your grandparents told us that they were going to the Saturday Vigil Mass. Since it was the weekend, they thought it would be good to go to Mass before you were born, so they wouldn’t miss anything. 

Shortly after they left, your dad and I finished up playing a video game (which your dad won, sparing no mercy on your laboring mom!), and looked at each other wondering what we should do next. Should we eat dinner? Go on a walk? We decided to time the contractions to see if they were any closer. I laid down on the couch. The contractions were getting closer but were still more than five minutes apart. We thought we’d try to stay home until they were less than five minutes apart.

We were listening to a Bob Dylan album. As I was laying there, listening to Blowing in the Wind, I began thinking about you and how blessed I felt to be a mother. Knowing that I was going to be able to hold you and nurse you in a short time filled me with joy. I started crying. Your dad thought the pain was the cause of my tears but I told him they were tears of joy. Around this same time I started feeling like I was going to throw up during the contractions - a sign to us that I might be entering transition which is the last phase of first stage labor. These emotional and physical signs told us that we should leave for the hospital.

Your dad scurried around the house grabbing last minute items, while I got my shoes on and grabbed a few things in between contractions. We got out to the car and hopped in. As we drove the contractions got stronger and closer together. Dad tried to console me while driving, but I told him to focus on driving and that I would be fine. Dad called your grandparents, who were still at Mass, and left a message. We figured they could just head to the hospital when they got out of church.

After the fifteen minute drive to the hospital, we arrived and your dad asked me what we should bring into the hospital. I just told him to get your diaper bag and we could get the rest later. I started walking ahead to the entrance of the hospital but a contraction came on. I motioned to Dad to hurry over so I could lean on him. He ran over and when the contraction had ended I remembered that my cute laboring gown was still in the car, so I sent him back to get it.

We checked in and they wheeled me to room 16. Two nurses were there to greet me. I told them I had my own gown to wear and they complimented me on it saying that whoever made it could make a fortune. I got the gown on and tried tying the bow in the back. I was having a hard time tying it so one of the nurses helped me. Then I hobbled onto the bed and the nurse checked to see how dilated I was. She said I was between 8 and 9 centimeters dilated (the goal is 10). Your dad and I were both surprised and excited that most of the work was done. Shortly after that I felt like I was doing to pee in the bed. I warned the nurses and asked if that was alright. During the next contraction my water broke and I started feeling a slight urge to push. At that point the nurses were in a flurry trying to prepare for your birth. I looked at your Dad and told him that I had to push during the next contraction. Pushing you out was something I couldn’t really control - my body just did it! It took about three contractions before I pushed you all the way out. Your warm, naked body was immediately placed on my chest and I kissed your precious face. I told you that I loved you over and over. I called you by name - Peter! Dad got to cut your umbilical cord and he touched your sweet body for the first time.

You were born fourteen minutes after we arrived at the hospital - at 6:06pm. The doctor wasn’t even there for your birth! In hindsight, your dad and I are so thankful that we even made it to the hospital! 

Your grandparents called Dad when they got out of church. Dad asked them, “Do you want to know his name now or when you get here?” They couldn’t believe you had been born already! They went home to grab a few things and then headed over to the hospital to meet you.

They came in the room with John and Miss Jordan. John had on his shirt that said “I love my lil’ brother”. He had decorated cupcakes for you earlier in the day with your grandmas. We all sang Happy Birthday to you. John was beaming and really enjoyed eating your cupcake for you!

Everyone got a chance to hold you and welcome you into our family. We apologized to Grandma St.Hilaire and Grandpa Stockton for not waiting for them so they could see your birth. They forgave us! 

 

It wasn’t long before we were transferred to a different room. It was getting late and eventually the family left to go back home. You, your dad and I were left alone for the night. I was feeling great and on a natural high from giving birth to you with no pain medication. You and I were both doing so well that we were released from the hospital less than 24 hours from being admitted.

We came home to a house full of people wanting to meet you; including Great-Grandma Launceford, Grandpa St.Hilaire, Uncle Aaron, and Mr. Friedman. We ate a big meal together to celebrate your birth.

 

As I write this, you are now one week old! You are a precious addition to our family and we thank God every day for your life. He has entrusted you to us here on this earth and it is a true honor to be your parents. May you have a long life filled with love for God and others!

Introducing Peter Julian!

Peter Julian St.Hilaire

Born on October 22, 2011

6:06pm

9 lbs

19.5 in.

Stay tuned for the birth story...

Clean up!

In the past month or so I've been relying on John more and more to clean up after himself, since I can't do it all and endlessly picking up toys off the ground is no fun when you are 9 months pregnant!

I know that for him to meet my expectations, I need to teach him and train him how to do it first. We began by cleaning together and we put everything in its home. One day I thought of a way to make it a little more fun - I made this short youtube playlist with some good songs for cleaning (disclaimer - some of them are slightly annoying and get stuck in your head!). So now when I tell him it's clean up time, I turn on the music and he is capable of doing it all by himself. Notice I said "capable" - meaning he can do it but doesn't always do it without more encouragement and help. At this point the event after clean up time dictates how quickly and thoroughly he cleans. For example, "clean up so we can watch a show" gets better results than "clean up so you can take a nap."

We typically do this routine before nap and bedtime. A couple of days ago it was time for nap and I was thinking that I'd just clean up for him since it was getting a little late in the afternoon. But when I told him it was story time (which we do before nap) he said "no, clean up first!" I wasn't going to argue with that, so I turned on the music and let him clean!

Here are some before and after shots of our pre-nap clean up time today:

Before

After

 

The Magic Dragon

This morning was rough. John use to stay in his bed and yell, "Open door please, Mama!" Until I relented and rolled myself out of bed to open his door. I think he did this because he was afraid to get out of bed. Well now we have entered a new phase of independence. I even tried to open his door once this week and he told me to "let Johnny do it." With this new independence also comes earlier wake up calls because he gets up the instant he is awake. Yesterday he was bright and chipper at 6:15am and today he let me sleep in until 7:15am. I'm generally accustomed to sleeping in until 8am - spoiled, I know!

But this morning he was up and not so chipper. I told him that I would send him back to bed if he was going to be so crabby. Once we got to the living room and started playing with toys he was better. But I was still finding myself annoyed by little things.

I was making sandwich bread and he wanted to help put the salt in. I let him do it, but tried to guide his hand. He wanted to do it on his own and sure enough - he dumped the salt on the counter right next to the mixing bowl. I know it's not big deal, but I've noticed he wants to be independent when he really still needs help, and dependent when he doesn't really need help (i.e. wanting me to pick up his toys for him).

Anyway, I was feeling very negative with all these little things. But once the bread was in the oven and the kitchen was clean, I went into the living room to be with my little guy. I really do love him. He has such a great imagination - acting out voices for his stuffed animals and little figurines. He also loves to read. He could be read to all day if I was willing. His bookshelf is in constant disarray because he is always pulling books out to read.

Today he found a book by Peter Yarrow that is full of lullaby lyrics and beautiful pictures. Attached to the inside cover is a CD with all the songs. We got it as a baby shower gift before John was born and we've never listened to the CD. I asked John if he wanted to listen to it with me. He said yes. So we busted it out of it's untouched case and put it in the CD player. It was a great album. I really like Peter Yarrow's voice. We sat on the couch and I sang along with the songs.

When Puff the Magic Dragon came on, I was surprised by my reaction near the end of the song:

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar. 

I cried.

John was surprised too. He is always so concerned when I cry. "Cuddle Mama," he said as he came over and hugged me.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day. Picking up toys constantly, repeating yourself over and over, dealing with crabbiness, picky eating, being pulled out of bed at who-knows-what-hour... I instantly felt so bad for feeling irritated earlier. My little boy will not be little forever. This precious time I have with him is so fleeting and I resolve to value it more. Who knew good ol' Puff would bring me to my senses... for today.

Adventures in Cloth Diapering: New Wipes!

Since I just got a bunch of new diapers, I thought I'd freshen up my wipe stash too. I have been using wipes made by a friend which are one layer of flannel surged around the edges:

They definitely did the job! But I recently envisioned a new wipe that was more heavy duty, because sometimes you just need a little more than flannel. So I made some new wipes that are the best of both worlds - one side is terry cloth (for the dirty work) and the other is flannel (for a smooth finish!).

I started using the new wipes with John and I really like them. I am usually able to do a big job with only one wipe. I made a set of 20 wipes so that should be plenty. I still use the same spray bottle solution to get the wipe nice and moist before using it.

Adventures in Cloth Diapering: 2 years later...

We have been cloth diapering for over two years now. If you've been around our blog that long, you'll know that we settled on Fuzzi Bunz. They are "One-Sized" meaning they are designed to last from birth to potty training.

Here is the series I posted when we were making all the decisions and getting into cloth diapering:

1. The beginning (We started with Bun Genius)
2. The sun is amazing (stain removal via sunlight) 
3. Reviews and new diapers 
4. And the winner is... (decision to use Fuzzi Bunz) 
5. Cloth wipes 
6. How I wash those smelly dipes

My review of Fuzzi Bunz and cloth diapering in general - 2 years later...

• Smell - After the diapers are cleaned, they smell pretty neutral. I have noticed that once John goes pee the diapers smell like ammonia sometimes. After looking into this problem, I discovered that it is probably caused by soap build-up. This can be solved by "stripping" the diapers. I don't do this on a regular enough basis to know if it would really work. I have stripped the diapers and it does seem to help, but I generally just try to keep him in a dry diaper and deal with the stinking factor.
• Repelling - Sometimes the diapers have repelled pee. For example, more than once the diapers have leaked and they weren't even wet! Again, this problem was solved with a good stripping.
• Rash - About a year ago, John had a terrible rash. His skin was raw and welted to the point that cream would not stick to it. He had it for weeks and I was trying everything to get rid of it. We had to switch to disposables during this time because I didn't want to damage the cloth by using various creams that we were trying (you must use special creams on cloth diapering that won't build up on the fabric, which can cause more repelling). I believe the rash was caused by his "all night diaper" as we called it, which was a Fuzzi Bunz diaper with two absorbing inserts inside... let's just say he had a fluffy bum at night! His bottom just couldn't handle being exposed to all that moisture during the night and the diaper wasn't good at pulling the moisture away from his skin. I sought advice from many friends. One told me I should try athletes foot cream because it has an anti-fungal properties. She told me the key ingredient was Clotrimazole. I was willing to try anything, so we went and bought a tube of athlete's foot cream. It worked!! Within three days, the rash was pretty much gone. Two results came from that experience: 1. We keep athlete's foot cream in our diaper supplies, and 2. We put John in a disposable diaper at night. Thankfully, we have not had the problem again since the disposable keeps his skin dry at night.
• Fitting - The one-sized Fuzzi Bunz diapers grows by adjusting the elastic in the legs and back. This system has worked well and the diapers have really grown with John. He is 2 years and 4 months old now and the diapers still fit!
• Quality? - I still think the Fuzzi Bunz diapers are high quality. No, they are not white anymore and they've seen better days. But, since I've only had 8 diapers, these diapers have been through a lot of washing and wear. I use to have 9 diapers, but the PUL on one of the diapers started to separate, so I had to take it out of the rotation. I think this happened because I started drying the diapers in the dryer instead of air drying them - to speed up the process. Now I make sure to air dry them to prolong the life of the diapers.
• The Verdict - I am very happy with Fuzzi Bunz and we just got more for Baby #2! My friends threw a shower for me a couple of weeks ago and they gave me a set of diapers! I requested a set of 12 so that I could have more in my rotation. It will be especially nice when John is potty trained and I can use all the diapers for Brother. So when John is out of diapers I will have 20 diapers to use for one child (a dream come true!).

Here are some pictures comparing old and new diapers:

New diapers!!

L-Old, R-New (Notice the old is pretty brown!)

Lining of the old diapers, the fabric is pilled and not as soft

New diaper lining - it's like a cloud!

Diaper inserts: L-Old, R-New (notice the old is brown and isn't as soft)

That wraps up my 2 year review! Let me know if you have any questions