39 Weeks! Pregnancy Update

Tomorrow marks week 39 for me and our baby girl. Which means I probably have 1 to 3 weeks left! John was 9 days late and induced and Peter was 12 days late before I went into labor naturally. We are hoping for a natural birth again with this baby, so we shall see if she is more punctual than her brothers. - please, oh please!!

My feelings emotionally...

Last week was very emotional for me. I felt like I was on the verge of crying at any moment - happy or sad. On my way to my doctor's appointment last week, I dropped the boys off with my mom and went by myself listening to the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack in the car. Sunrise, Sunset came on and I lost it. Especially in these last few weeks, I can really relate to the fact that with each sunrise and sunset, I come one day closer to meeting our new child, and one day closer to our lives changing forever (in a great way).

I also get teary when I think about my little Peter, who will get booted out of the position of "baby" in our household. He is so sweet and will still come and snuggle some mornings in our bed with me. I love holding his little body and breathing in the smell of his hair. I know I'll still love doing that, but I also know that having a baby around will automatically make him a "bigger" boy, at least in my perspective.

John, on the other hand, is so big to me already - in stature and maturity. I am very excited to see him care for his sister. The vulnerability and helplessness of an infant is one of life's greatest lessons, and I am excited to see John in the roll of provider, even if it's just in small ways. It will also be great to have him around as Peter's accomplice. I know they'll still need my love and care, but having each other as entertainment will really help me (I hope!).

This week I am holding my tears back more and feel more determined to get things done and prepared. Yesterday alone, I got more done around the house than I usually do in a week!

Physically...

I've been feeling great! Especially this last week, I've had tons of energy. During my 1st and 2nd trimesters, I took a nap most days, but lately I've been getting up early and had energy to keep me going all day. Granted, I'm usually waddling and hobbling around, but I could take on the world!!

I'm sleeping comfortably, but I do wake up to adjust my position every once and a while, which takes a lot of effort. When I'm up and going, I feel great, but once I lie down, it's hard to move.

Right before Thanksgiving, we had a worry because my belly was measuring small. So we were worried that something could be wrong with the placenta. I had an ultrasound done and that checked out fine, which was a huge relief. Our girl is just more petite than the boys.

Having a baby growing inside me will always be astonishing. Sometimes I look at my belly and it is so hard to believe that I am carrying around a practically full-term baby. The miracle of life is humbling to be a part of.

Spiritually...

It has been great thinking of Our Blessed Mother as I journey along side her own liturgical pregnancy with Jesus. Most recently, I was feeling very overwhelmed by not being prepared enough for our daughter's birth. But then, I considered how Mary was traveling so late in her pregnancy and had so many unknowns to worry about - she didn't even have a place to stay! She gave birth in a barn and had to lay her sweet new Baby in a food trough for animals! So no matter how unprepared I feel, looking at Our Lady's trust that God will provide for her is a huge comfort and relief to me. I don't have to have it all together, I just need to trust and most of all, prepare my heart to welcome this new eternal soul into my care.

My New Diary...

I think about my little blog quite often - at least once a day. Whenever I have a spare moment I think, oooooh maybe I could go write a post right now! But then I think of all the other things I could do around the house or with the boys and the blog always gets shoved on the back-burner. Then the evening comes and the wee-ones are tucked it, but alas my brain is fried at the end of the day, making it so difficult to get my words out.

I've thought a lot about the blog and it's purpose in my life. I read many blogs and so I have this mental image of what a blog is supposed to be and how often I should post. But I don't really want to have a "big" blog. I don't like thinking about total strangers reading about our personal lives. Yet, I do want to stay connected with my family and friends (and Facebook doesn't cut it all the time), and I do want to keep records of the details in our lives and the boys growing up so I can look back on it in the future - like a diary. 

So I will attempt to trudge forth and do my posts whenever time and inspiration allow. However, I do want to share with you something that has really made memory-keeping easy. I got the idea off of Pinterest:

"It's a daily calendar that is reused each year and gets better the longer you use it. Each day you write the year and something that happened that day like, "(Child's name) took her first steps." Imagine how neat it would be in 10 years."

I took this idea and decided to make it even easier by making it digital. I made a Word Document and titled it "On this day..." then I type the month and day, then the year - with one or two sentences about what happened that day. I've been doing this for over a month now and it is really easy to keep up with. And trust me, this Mama likes easy! I also like it because I'm not planning on sharing it with the world, so it doesn't matter if I'm eloquent, I just want to give my future self a few thoughts to jog my memory. Here is a sample of what I've written over the last few days:

April 5 

2013 - Friday, No mothers’ group. Went grocery shopping then to Grandma’s for a visit. We went out to Puerto Vallarta for dinner as a family and some people having a birthday thought the boys were cute and gave them each a balloon! 

April 6 

2013 - Saturday, Andrew and I both exercised! We are trying to get in shape and starting the journey! 

April 7 

2013 - Sunday, We arrived early to mass today and sat near the front!! Came home and cleaned the house. Had the Herrings over for dinner, the kids ran around like crazy!  

April 8 

2013 - Monday, Warm overcast day. We played outside and removed the fountain in the front and filled it in with dirt. John found a “sam-ann-ter” (salamander) and had fun torturing it playing with it. He was very intrigued.

My plan is to write future years under the same Month/Day. So for example, in three years, April 6th might look something like this:

April 6

2013 - Saturday, Andrew and I both exercised! We are trying to get in shape and starting the journey!

2014 - Sunday, Went to Mass and had a vision of our Blessed Mother.

2015 - Monday, Andrew let me sleep in and made breakfast for me in bed. PJ and JV cleaned the house for me.

2016 - Wednesday, Juniper Willow St.Hilaire was born this morning. She was born at 9:30am after a long restful night of sleep. Quick and easy labor and delivery with no complications. I'm already back in my pre-pregnancy clothes!

Yah, now let's wait and see if that all really happens!! ;) But it's cool, because you can look at any one day and see all the things you've done on that day. It will be really neat for the holidays because I can never remember all the details after a few years have gone by.

Anyway, I thought it was a good idea that I wanted to share with all you busy people out there who want to remember the simple day-to-day life that slips away so quickly.

Ta-ta for now!

On Heaven... with a 3 year-old

This is a conversation that took place a couple weeks ago:

We were just about to sit down to breakfast when John got a really sad look on his face and, out of no where, managed to mumble, "I don't want to die!" We didn't quite hear him right: "You don't want to what??"

"I don't want to die!" He repeated. He had a look of sadness and terror in his eyes.

My heart went out to him! We sat at the table and started to eat while Andrew and I talked it over with him. We told him that everyone dies at sometime but if he is a really good person and loves Jesus, then he will go to heaven when he dies.

He told us he didn't want to be a good person - I think he was thinking that if he was a bad person then he wouldn't have to die. We explained that even bad people die, but if he is a good person then he will have eternal happiness with Jesus.

I could tell this gave him some consolation, but he was still concerned. "You need to have another boy, Mama," he told me.

"What, why?" I was confused.

"And name him John, OK?"

*Melting heart* I ran to him and sat him on my lap. "Awe honey! When you go to heaven, we will all be there together! We won't need another John because YOU are our John and we will be together with Jesus! And heaven is going to be such a happy place!"

I was surprised how long the conversation went on. We talked about a lot of different aspects of death and I don't remember all the details. But I do remember that we were talking about being buried when we die and that Jesus will raise us up. John told us that he wanted to put a door on his grave so that Jesus could open it. =)

I'm continually amazed that John already seems to understand that this life is not our destination...

House Hunting

We are currently in the exciting process of house hunting. It really is fun and makes me giddy, similar feelings to when Andrew and I were first dating. As a renter my whole adult life, I never knew house hunting would feel like this!

I love the big deck too!

We've been out three times so far and will be going again later today. I was quite smitten with an old farm-styled house built in 1901. It featured high ceilings, a beautiful wooden staircase, entry living room, dining room, den, big kitchen, beautiful yard. There were some quirks for sure, but I couldn't stop day-dreaming about the house. I would imagine how we would set up our furniture, having all the toys in the den which is right by the kitchen so that I could be cooking while the kids were playing. I imagined John and Peter coming down the old staircase in their pajamas on Christmas morning, seeing a huge tree in the front room...

I recognized that it probably wasn't good for me to think all these things, so I tied to stop. I offered it up in prayer: "Please let me be at peace if this house doesn't work out!"

We saw it three times and the third time we brought a coworker who has experience with construction. He agreed that it was a beautiful home with a lot of character, but quickly pointed out some major (expensive) issues. It seems that the previous owners fixed up the house to have great curb appeal, but the main structure wasn't that great, particularly the foundation.

So we decided to move on. We don't want to get involved with a house that is a money pit. I was sad, but also feel closure, knowing that it wasn't the prefect fit for our family. I've seen the house a few times on real-estate search engines and there is a slight pang in my heart - like I broke up with a boyfriend or something... =)

I know the right one is out there!

Dear Fred Meyers...

My letter to the Fred Meyer Customer Relationship Center:


Dear Fred Meyer Customer Relationship Center,

I have been a loyal customer in Bremerton, WA for the last three years and am generally very happy with your store. I love the employees and your product selection. I go shopping every week and we know many of the employees on a first-name basis.

My discontent is regarding your “Family Friendly” checkout lane. As a mother with small children, I always refuse to use any other lane. You can imagine my shock when I noticed this month in the family lane a “Betty and Veronica: Double Digest” comic book (#199) that showcased the girls in immodest swimsuits on the cover. This image is an objectification of women and is very inappropriate.  I do my best to protect my children from such images. That is why I refuse to check out in any other lane, and now the filth is encroaching on the one-and-only isle that is supposed to be safe for my children’s eyes. Please value the innocence of all the children in your stores and do a better job of selecting material for the family friendly lane.

On a similar note, the family lane in my store is very popular and it is clear to me that your patrons would be happy to see more lanes that were friendly to families. In fact, I find it odd that any of your lanes would be “un-friendly” to families as implied by your need to have one labeled as being “friendly.” All the material that is un-friendly to families should be located in a different part of the store - in a place that is not so visible by everyone. I realize that you have contracts with magazine distributors and you might lose money by removing them from each checkout lane, but I urge you to refrain from exposing indecent material to every customer that has to check out of your store.

I thank you in advance for your attention to these important matters.

Sincerely,
Lindsey St.Hilaire

Unworthy

John has been a real stinker the past few days. Refusing to clean up his toys, hitting, yelling, back talking, chewing with his mouth open, whining... It's been rough for me as a parent. 


At the same time, I've been preparing myself to celebrate Easter by stocking up on goodies for John's Easter basket. I've had the thought a few times lately: Why does John have to be so naughty? I don't really want to give him an Easter basket because he doesn't deserve one!


Last night, while praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet with Andrew, I remembered that Jesus died and rose from the dead for us - even though we are naughty all the time and are totally undeserving! 

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

John will definitely be getting his Easter basket.

5 Tips for Reducing Children's TV Time

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Last Lent (2011) we gave up TV, including John. I didn't think it was going to be that hard, but it made me realize how much I was letting John watch TV during the day. He usually watched a half hour show during the day, which is probably less than average. It was a nice break for me and he enjoyed that TV time. He would usually watch an episode of Blues Clues, Kipper, Thomas the Train, or Dragon Tails. I didn't see any harm in it... until we gave it up.

During the first week of those forty days, John would get really crabby because he wanted to watch a show and I realized that I had been using that TV time to get things done. Essentially, it was babysitting John for me - something I vowed would not happen when I became a parent. But it's such an easy thing to get in the habit of! It turned out to be a great Lent and my eyes were opened to see that I can get things done without having the TV on for John. After Lent was over, we started watching shows again, but it's different now. He typically watches TV once a week and it is now a family time, where we all watch it together (minus Peter of course!).

If you are a parent who wants to reduce the amount of TV your children watch and still have time to get things done, here are some tips that helped us make the transition:

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Set up Play-Doh or another craft that isn't too messy at your kitchen table. When he was younger, I would put John in his highchair to contain him and the mess. This works well when I am making dinner.

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When your children are playing alone, use your time wisely to get important things done - this could be anything from relaxing to scrubbing the toilet - whatever is most important to you! In my experience, if I am deliberate about what I do in my "free-time", there is plenty of time to get things done without having to use the TV as a babysitter.

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Audio books can be a great alternative to TV because they are entertaining, don't require parental involvement and still utilize your child's imagination. We have Strega Nona on CD, read by the author, and John LOVES it! Be sure to check out the audio book section at your library!

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Keep your kitchen sink clean and empty so you can pull up a chair and have your child play in the water with some plastic toys (another good activity during dinner prep). I put a towel on the chair to make it less slippery and use it to clean up any spills after playtime.

Hard to believe this was over a year ago!

--- 5 ---

Have kids "help" with the chore. Some examples:

• Dusting: give your little one a cloth so they can help
• Sweeping: give your child a little dust pan and brush
• Vacuuming: give them the attachments so they can pretend to vacuum also

Check out this post for ways kids can help in the kitchen at every age.

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Do you have any other ideas? I'm always looking for new things to try!

Grocery IQ: App Review

I've toyed around with a few different applications on my phone for grocery shopping. Andrew suggested I try Grocery IQ. He found out about it through Life Hacker. I decided to give it a go.

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It is SO wonderful!  Here are some of my favorite features:

• Organized List: I can organize my groceries by category. This eliminates me having to go back to different areas in the store if I forget something because it wasn't ordered properly on my list.
• Syncs with online account: I do all my meal planning on Google Calendar.  I can sign into my Grocery IQ account on my computer, which makes adding things very easy! (I type way faster on an actual computer than on my phone...) I enjoy being able to toggle back and forth between Google Calendar and Grocery IQ on my computer. Then the online account syncs up automatically with my phone!
• Email: My shopping lists can be emailed to anyone with the click of a button! This came in handy last week when my parents offered to go to Costco for us. I clicked the button to send my list to her. She was able to print it off and it was still organized by category!
• Shared account: I gave Andrew the password to my online account so he can add things to the list too.

There are many other features, but I appreciate those the most. The downside to having your grocery list on your phone is you are staring at your phone the whole time you shop. I just think that looks bad and that people think I'm neglecting my kids. But I guess it's no different than staring at a paper grocery list.

What do you use for your grocery list?

Almost three

John is my sweet, pouty, imaginative, know-it-all, sensitive, strong-willed, friendly, clingy, compassionate, moody, honest, loving almost-three-year-old. This morning he got up at about 7:20am and immediately wanted me to fix his little airplane that hangs from the ceiling in his bedroom. Whenever I hear John's door open I always quickly (slowly and carefully) get out of bed because I am afraid that John will come up in our bed and wake up Peter. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to snuggle up with John, but let's just say he is very squirmy when he snuggles.

I whispered to John that we will fix the airplane after Daddy and Peter wake up. He instantly dropped to the floor as though my words pierced his heart. I went to the bathroom and he sneakily climbed in our bed. Picking him up ever-so-gently, we went into the living room where he announced to me that me that he no longer loved me and my hair smelled bad (pretty sure he was smelling my morning breath...). How do you respond to a blow like that? I simply told him that he hurt my feelings and made me very sad. About two minutes later he hugged me and said "I DO love you!"

That is life when you live with a pre-schooler... all these emotional ups and downs all day long. Sometimes he says the sweetest things and then he'll turn around and defiantly say "NO" when I ask him to do something. It pulls on my heart strings, and I wouldn't trade him or this time with him for anything in the world.

 Currently one of John's favorite toys. This thing has chugged miles around our house!

He stole my scissors for this cutting session, but he is getting pretty good with his small safety scissors! He is also very interested in puzzles. I'm amazed at his spatial skills.

I found this idea to do with John during Lent. It's a bean jar. Every time he does something good, he gets to put a bean in the jar. On Easter the beans turn into jelly beans. However, at his age, we are going to turn the beans to jelly beans on Sundays. Also for Lent, I'm hoping to get him to make the sign of the cross. He says the words but doesn't do the gestures.

This is a very formative time for him and for me as a parent. Right now Andrew and I are laying a foundation, whether we acknowledge it or not, that will support John as he grows in maturity. I have bad parenting days for sure and I try to read books that will inspire me to be better. And when I have even a moment to reflect on the whole situation, I realize that John will be a man someday. Obvious, I know, but I think it's easy to forget when you're in the trenches of parenting. Right now, I have two boys in my house who will be grown men in a relatively short time, who have specific vocations, who will impact the world, who may have children of their own someday, and who have eternal souls that have been entrusted to my care. I forget all that when faced with a blowout or a yelling child.

Lenten Beginnings

Yesterday was the beginning of the season of Lent. Andrew asked me if I was excited... "yes?" I replied. It didn't sound convincing. I guess Lent is always hard because it forces me to examine my life in light of who I am meant to be. What is off in my life? How can I be a better mother, wife, and daughter of God? These are challenging questions. It's easy to lose track during the rest of the year and develop bad habits. This is why Lent is so necessary!

In college, I was in a group of people who were pretty hardcore in their sacrifices. Some slept on wooden boards, ate only liquid foods, gave up sarcasm, makeup, or looking in mirrors. One year I tried giving up electricity. My parameters were I never turned lights on, I took cold showers, washed my clothes in cold water, washed dishes by hand. It was kind of fun... for about a week! Then it became pretty challenging - especially taking cold showers! Finally someone knocked some sense into me: Why are you doing this? How will this sacrifice bring you closer to Christ? These questions made me realize that I might be doing it for the wrong reasons. Namely, to get a taste of the romanticized olden-days that I've so often longed for in my youth.

Now I am more careful about choosing my sacrifices and examining my motives. This year I have on my heart to focus on being a better wife and mother through prayer and spending quality time with my family. I've been reading the 10 Habits of Happy Mothers and it's giving me a lot to think about and at least one good idea for Lent. Which is calling at least one friend once a week, or better yet, going to visit with a friend. This will help me to reach out socially and connect with people I care about.

This sounds silly, but one struggle I have is getting dressed in the morning. This really impacts my day in a bad way. I feel like I am so busy taking care of everyone else, that I don't take care of myself. It doesn't feel good to stay in pajamas all day! I'm sure all the stay-at-home-moms out there with little kids can relate! During Lent, I am going to work on this by getting dressed before 9am.

As a family, we are going to give up TV. This should free up some time in the evening for more blogging! =) Andrew pointed out to me that I took a month off between January and my post yesterday. Ooops.

Another sacrifice I am going to do is to clean one part of the house each day that will likely go unnoticed. Shhhh - don't tell Andrew! I think this will help me to pay more attention to the little things around the house and clean without seeking praise. At Mothers' Group someone mentioned saying "Hail Marys" while scrubbing the toilet! HA! Maybe I can incorporate that into my cleaning too!

Happy Lent to you all!

Until Next Year...

We had a good run, O' Christmas tree, but the time has come to say good bye. It's bitter-sweet. Sweet because your departure means that I can get on with organizing and cleaning the house. Bitter because it means Christmas is over and you won't return for another year.

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As a grown up, a year doesn't seem that far away, but when I think that my boys will each be a year older - that seems crazy! Peter will probably be walking! John will be even more eloquent, independent and potty-trained (please, oh please!). A year is a long time in child-years.

Today as I laid by the tree with John, I realized that I will only have 16 Christmas' left with him living in the house. Might seem like a lot, but I know it will fly by.  I'm going to cling to these years like Pooh Bear to his Hunny Pot.  It's been a sappy day for sure.  To top it off, "What a Wonderful World" played on my Pandora station while I was rocking Peter to sleep.

So tomorrow is the day, I will pack all the Christmas decorations away. Probably during John's nap. I don't want to traumatize him with de-decorating!

More to come later about all the festivities. For now, here is a picture of the boys cuddled up in matching PJs (thanks Grandma and Grandpa!) watching the Grinch.

The Magic Dragon

This morning was rough. John use to stay in his bed and yell, "Open door please, Mama!" Until I relented and rolled myself out of bed to open his door. I think he did this because he was afraid to get out of bed. Well now we have entered a new phase of independence. I even tried to open his door once this week and he told me to "let Johnny do it." With this new independence also comes earlier wake up calls because he gets up the instant he is awake. Yesterday he was bright and chipper at 6:15am and today he let me sleep in until 7:15am. I'm generally accustomed to sleeping in until 8am - spoiled, I know!

But this morning he was up and not so chipper. I told him that I would send him back to bed if he was going to be so crabby. Once we got to the living room and started playing with toys he was better. But I was still finding myself annoyed by little things.

I was making sandwich bread and he wanted to help put the salt in. I let him do it, but tried to guide his hand. He wanted to do it on his own and sure enough - he dumped the salt on the counter right next to the mixing bowl. I know it's not big deal, but I've noticed he wants to be independent when he really still needs help, and dependent when he doesn't really need help (i.e. wanting me to pick up his toys for him).

Anyway, I was feeling very negative with all these little things. But once the bread was in the oven and the kitchen was clean, I went into the living room to be with my little guy. I really do love him. He has such a great imagination - acting out voices for his stuffed animals and little figurines. He also loves to read. He could be read to all day if I was willing. His bookshelf is in constant disarray because he is always pulling books out to read.

Today he found a book by Peter Yarrow that is full of lullaby lyrics and beautiful pictures. Attached to the inside cover is a CD with all the songs. We got it as a baby shower gift before John was born and we've never listened to the CD. I asked John if he wanted to listen to it with me. He said yes. So we busted it out of it's untouched case and put it in the CD player. It was a great album. I really like Peter Yarrow's voice. We sat on the couch and I sang along with the songs.

When Puff the Magic Dragon came on, I was surprised by my reaction near the end of the song:

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar. 

I cried.

John was surprised too. He is always so concerned when I cry. "Cuddle Mama," he said as he came over and hugged me.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day. Picking up toys constantly, repeating yourself over and over, dealing with crabbiness, picky eating, being pulled out of bed at who-knows-what-hour... I instantly felt so bad for feeling irritated earlier. My little boy will not be little forever. This precious time I have with him is so fleeting and I resolve to value it more. Who knew good ol' Puff would bring me to my senses... for today.

Adventures in Cloth Diapering: 2 years later...

We have been cloth diapering for over two years now. If you've been around our blog that long, you'll know that we settled on Fuzzi Bunz. They are "One-Sized" meaning they are designed to last from birth to potty training.

Here is the series I posted when we were making all the decisions and getting into cloth diapering:

1. The beginning (We started with Bun Genius)
2. The sun is amazing (stain removal via sunlight) 
3. Reviews and new diapers 
4. And the winner is... (decision to use Fuzzi Bunz) 
5. Cloth wipes 
6. How I wash those smelly dipes

My review of Fuzzi Bunz and cloth diapering in general - 2 years later...

• Smell - After the diapers are cleaned, they smell pretty neutral. I have noticed that once John goes pee the diapers smell like ammonia sometimes. After looking into this problem, I discovered that it is probably caused by soap build-up. This can be solved by "stripping" the diapers. I don't do this on a regular enough basis to know if it would really work. I have stripped the diapers and it does seem to help, but I generally just try to keep him in a dry diaper and deal with the stinking factor.
• Repelling - Sometimes the diapers have repelled pee. For example, more than once the diapers have leaked and they weren't even wet! Again, this problem was solved with a good stripping.
• Rash - About a year ago, John had a terrible rash. His skin was raw and welted to the point that cream would not stick to it. He had it for weeks and I was trying everything to get rid of it. We had to switch to disposables during this time because I didn't want to damage the cloth by using various creams that we were trying (you must use special creams on cloth diapering that won't build up on the fabric, which can cause more repelling). I believe the rash was caused by his "all night diaper" as we called it, which was a Fuzzi Bunz diaper with two absorbing inserts inside... let's just say he had a fluffy bum at night! His bottom just couldn't handle being exposed to all that moisture during the night and the diaper wasn't good at pulling the moisture away from his skin. I sought advice from many friends. One told me I should try athletes foot cream because it has an anti-fungal properties. She told me the key ingredient was Clotrimazole. I was willing to try anything, so we went and bought a tube of athlete's foot cream. It worked!! Within three days, the rash was pretty much gone. Two results came from that experience: 1. We keep athlete's foot cream in our diaper supplies, and 2. We put John in a disposable diaper at night. Thankfully, we have not had the problem again since the disposable keeps his skin dry at night.
• Fitting - The one-sized Fuzzi Bunz diapers grows by adjusting the elastic in the legs and back. This system has worked well and the diapers have really grown with John. He is 2 years and 4 months old now and the diapers still fit!
• Quality? - I still think the Fuzzi Bunz diapers are high quality. No, they are not white anymore and they've seen better days. But, since I've only had 8 diapers, these diapers have been through a lot of washing and wear. I use to have 9 diapers, but the PUL on one of the diapers started to separate, so I had to take it out of the rotation. I think this happened because I started drying the diapers in the dryer instead of air drying them - to speed up the process. Now I make sure to air dry them to prolong the life of the diapers.
• The Verdict - I am very happy with Fuzzi Bunz and we just got more for Baby #2! My friends threw a shower for me a couple of weeks ago and they gave me a set of diapers! I requested a set of 12 so that I could have more in my rotation. It will be especially nice when John is potty trained and I can use all the diapers for Brother. So when John is out of diapers I will have 20 diapers to use for one child (a dream come true!).

Here are some pictures comparing old and new diapers:

New diapers!!

L-Old, R-New (Notice the old is pretty brown!)

Lining of the old diapers, the fabric is pilled and not as soft

New diaper lining - it's like a cloud!

Diaper inserts: L-Old, R-New (notice the old is brown and isn't as soft)

That wraps up my 2 year review! Let me know if you have any questions

The Wonderful World of John

John loves to play. When he first wakes up he usually comes over to my side of the bed and tries to pull the covers off - saying, "play? play?" I'm not the best playmate at 7 in the morning, but once I am fully awake, I truly love entering into John's world of Playtime. He has so much imagination and I love getting to act like a kid again.

Lately, my playtime alter-ego is George the monkey:

John demands that I act as George for most of playtime. It was really fun at first, but this gig has been going on for a couple of months, so it can get a little old... After a day of play, it's nice to be just me again. John loves George, so I usually comply when he runs to me lifting George high in the air saying, "Dorge, Dorge!"

Here are some things John likes to do with George:

George will stack the blocks

John knocks them over

George cries

John makes him feel all better!

I caught John "fixing" George's eyes the other day with his power drill. After I dismissed the grotesque image of him actually taking a power drill to someones eye - I thought it was rather... compassionate?

George is also a great friend to have on a rainy day!

This kid sure needs a sibling to play with!! =)

In this video, you'll see me trying to get John to color for the camera. You'll also see how he does not do what I ask him to do - but the moment George asks him the same request, he does it immediately!

Fashion Faux Pas?

It's been raining a lot lately here in Bremerton, and I'm struggling with a temptation right now, which has been brewing inside me for several years...

I'd really like to start using those rain bonnets that are stereotypically reserved for old ladies. 

In all seriousness - think of the practicality! Here in Washington, who even uses an umbrella anymore? They can be bulky, something extra to hold, and awkward. Yet I would still like to have a way that I can keep my hair dry, especially on the days that I actually try to make my hair look good. I have one problem... my sweet husband would never want me to wear one of these!!! So out of respect him, I am going to resist this temptation with all some of my might.

Actually, in writing this post I found some "trendy" rain bonnets - Here is a an etsy store that sells bonnets made out of umbrella fabric. And here is one being sold on a European website (I really have my eye on that one!).

Maybe he would go for one of those? 

Advent

Advent Party: John and I hosted a party for our friends and we made paper chains to countdown the days till Christmas. It was fun to have a big crowd at our house! John didn't really get the idea of ripping off the chains each day... maybe next year!

Advent Calendar: Last year (2009), Grandma and Grandpa St.Hilaire gave John an Advent calendar that has a piece of the Nativity scene for each day. It took a little time and discipline, but he quickly learned to take the piece out of the pocket and place place it on the scene above. I also put a candy cane kiss in each pocket - which he enjoyed very much. It wasn't long before he knew what the words "Advent calendar" meant. Whenever I said those words he would get a huge grin on his face and run to it!

Waiting: This year we made a concerted effort to hold off on our celebrations until Christmas. As a child, I was always hauling out the boxes of our family's decorations the day after Thanksgiving. So waiting was a challenge for me. I wasn't sure if we would just hold off on our tree or on all decorations, until I recognized that our church does not decorate at all until Christmas Eve. I want our home to reflect the church, so I decided it would be best to only have our Advent calendar and wreath out until Christmas Eve.

The best part of waiting to get the tree is that we got our tree for a dollar at Rite Aid!! It is still standing proudly in our living room, but we will be taking it down later today and putting all our decorations away. I definitely was very excited to put it up on Christmas Eve, but it made for a very busy day... Andrew and I may do it differently next year. It is fun figuring out how we want to celebrate these holidays in our own family.

Train of Thought

Last Sunday at Mass, in the short time between the consecration of the bread and the consecration of the wine, I had this train of thought:

The smell of a woman in front of me reminded me of a lady I took care of when I worked at the Courtyard (dementia care facility) --- which made me think of dementia and I wondered who is the youngest person to ever suffer from dementia --- which made me wonder if I will ever get it --- which made me wonder if you could have symptoms of dementia for being overly tired (because I was feeling tired) --- which reminded me of a movie that Andrew and I watched part of (but turned it off because it was pretty bad) called The Machinist with Christian Bale. (It is a creepy movie about a man who suffers from insomnia and has not slept in over a year) --- and I wondered if it is even possible to go a year without sleeping --- then a gory scene from the movie began replaying in my mind where there is an accident at a factory and a man's arm gets stuck in a machine and is torn off and his severed limb is shown spinning around and around on the machine (Ick!)

So there I was grimacing to myself, when I was drawn out of my mind by the words, "Do this in memory of me." (and then the bells rang) Then I began internally reprimanding myself for thinking about such a horrible scene during the consecration! Not being aware of the path that led me to this thought, I wondered - why was I even thinking about that movie? And then I traced back my thoughts to see how I got from listening to the consecration of the bread to replaying that gory scene from The Machinist. And it all began with a smell... It's amazing how something as simple as a smell can trigger such a quick chain reaction in our minds! I say "our" because I hope I'm not the only one who has this problem! =)

I think that Satan really manipulates and tempts us with these little distractions. This might be a great failing for a lot of the "good" people out in the world. Outwardly, a person could look very good and holy, while internally they let their minds trail off. It is so easy to be distracted and turned away from Our Lord in our minds. And this is a problem that no one has to know about. We can hide this disconnect from everyone, even those closest to us. There is no one to hold us accountable because this is a problem people don't really talk about much, other than saying "I get distracted."

I don't think people realize how dangerous distractions are. The vessel for our prayers is our thoughts, for even the vocal prayers we say originate from our minds. So if our minds are easily distracted, then prayer probably comes as a difficulty (at least, I know this is true for me!). I'm not sure how I can concretely work on controlling my train of thought; I welcome any advice! I hope that eventually I can keep my thoughts centered on God and on good things. I hope that someday I will be united to God throughout the whole day, by being vigilant regarding what thoughts I allow myself to dwell on, making sure that they are always pleasing to Him.

Camping with a Toddler

On Monday we are leaving to go on our annual huckleberry picking trip with Andrew's side of the family. I've been working on preparing mentally for this trip... and let's just say John is a busy boy, so I've been scouring the Internet for any tips on making our trip safe and fun for John (and us). I'm not worried about the "fun" part because John loves being outside and is always leading me to the door during the day because he wants to play outside - so he will have a blast camping. I just worry about him getting cold at night, walking too close to the fire, being exposed to mosquitoes, tripping over roots... I'm just a worrier!

Here are the websites that I have found most helpful so far:

1. 5 Tips for camping with a toddler
2. Camping with kids

Theses aren't really related to kids, but they are still helpful:

1. KOA camping checklist
2. Camping Recipes
3. About.com camping checklist

Do you have any advice for me?? Please leave a comment and let me know! Thanks =)

New Habits

Seventy-one days ago, I began a journey. Andrew told me about this website called "Habitforge." Decide on a habit you want to establish and they will send you and email every day to ask if you are working towards that habit. Say "yes" or "no" and they keep track of your answers. The goal is to do it for twenty-one days in a row. If you say "no," then you have to start back at day one!

My goal was making my bed. It's something that takes only a few minutes in the morning, and it makes be feel so good about myself when I do it; yet, I have always been lazy when it comes to bed-making.

After seventy-one days of trying to do it twenty-one days in a row, I finally did it!!! Yesterday, in honor of it being my last day of the twenty-one day run, I washed the sheets and made it extra-nicely!

I have been really curious about what will happen on my computer screen when I finish - Will an animated character dance across the screen? Will fireworks go off? Or will they give me a thousand-dollar reward?

...No, all I got was this:


But even better than that colorful circle is this beautiful sight:

Thanks, Habitforge!

Come Home

Last week, I took John to the library for the first time. It was pretty fun. He got some board books and I picked up a few cook books (my weakness).

One of the books John got was Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. I remembered reading this book when I was a little girl. The basic plot of the book is that the little bunny is trying to find ways of leaving his mother, but she always seeks him out. For example, he says he will be a rock on a mountain, and she says that she will be a mountain climber and climb to where he is.


As a child, I never understood why the little bunny would ever want to leave his mom. Now I understand that this book is about the childhood quest for autonomy and the consistency of a mother's love through that process. When I was reading it to John before his nap today, I also found the content in this book could a metaphor for our relationship with God.

I think we all "run away" from God in our lives - some farther than others. But just like the mother in this book, Our Lord is always seeking to have a relationship with us. We are never very far from Him, even though it may feel that way.

"I will be a bird and fly away from you," said the little bunny.

The Seattle Archdiocese has taken on the Catholics Come Home campaign during Lent this year. The aim of the campaign is to reach out to Catholics, primarily via commercials on TV, who are not coming to Church anymore (who have "run away") and to invite them to take another look at the Church. Whatever the reason is for leaving, the Catholic Church wants everyone to know that they are always welcome to come back home.

"I will be a tree that you come home to," said his mother.

The Catholics Come Home website has a lot of answers to common questions that people have concerning what the Church teaches and how to "come home."

The following is my favorite one of the commercials that will be aired on major TV stations in the Seattle area: