Morning Reflections from an Eager Mother

My husband is so wonderful!  The last two mornings, I have not been able to sleep in much.  I think this is due to the nearing end of my pregnancy and a slight cold that I have been fighting for the last few days.  So this morning, I was up before Andrew and puttering around the house.  My thoughts drifted to something Andrew did for me a few weeks back that I wanted to share with you:

On Holy Saturday, the day after my last day of teaching, Andrew had a surprise planned for me.  It was almost ruined by my mom (it's ok Mom!) when she asked me the day before if "we were still planning on going to Fiesta together."  My response to her questions was that of confusion, and then she quickly followed up saying "oh wait, that's on Monday."  Still confused, I didn't push the subject further, and went away from the conversation thinking we may be going out to dinner on Monday.  

During the day on Saturday, Andrew and I did a lot of work cleaning the house and getting ready for Baby.  Andrew suggested that we go on a walk in the afternoon.  We always say we should do things like that, but hardly ever follow through on such ambitious plans as a "walk." Yet on this day, Andrew was determined.  He even took a shower before our "walk" and told me I should do my hair.  I was a little confused because I don't normally do my hair when I am going to exercise.  But to please my husband, I made myself presentable for our walk.  When he got out of the shower, he was in a rush to get outside.  So we left, and walked down the street.  He asked, "Where should we go?"  I said "Wherever you want to take me" (Something I would likely say, and he was counting on me saying it).   So he casually and seemingly randomly took me a certain way, and before I knew it we took a quick turn into the Fiesta parking lot.  It was then that I saw our friend Becky sitting in the restaurant, followed by a quick recognition of Tom, Carrie, and my parents.  

It turns out, Andrew had been planning the whole dinner as a congratulation dinner for me in honor of finishing teaching.  There were tons of clues, I should have guessed something was coming.  But I was honestly surprised.  

I wanted to tell this story because I think it is important to recognize and remember all the good things people do for us.  When I was a teen and before I was of dating age, I remember longing to love someone, other than my parents.  This love I longed for was a kind of love that did not use the other person are do kind things with ulterior motives.  A love that I think is well displayed in a book I am reading now called Redeeming Love (Read it! Read it!).  With our world the way it is, I couldn't imagine anyone loving me for who I was and not for what I could "do" for them in return.  

In our marriage so far, and in our time dating, I have felt true love from Andrew.  I love when he plans things for me and is excited to see my surprised face.  It makes me feel so valued and special.  His gifts are so clearly from his heart, and I never have felt that he gave in order to receive something from me.  Naturally, I want to reciprocate his loving actions, but I know he does not require me to do so.

This leads me to my final thought as the birth of our baby is quickly approaching: 

Andrew and I are a family, and our familial love is present with or without children.  It is important for us to remember that this child is joining our family- not creating it.  In the eyes of the world, people may not see a married couple as a "family," but they are.  Children are a blessed addition to the family.  This is a sentiment our friends Mike and Kristine shared on their blog before the birth of their daughter last year.  I held on to this thought because I thought it was so true.  I love being a family with Andrew and I feel that we do strive to live out the love I longed for as a teenager.

That being said, we are very eager for our son to come out!  We can hardly wait for this "addition" to make his presence known to the world.

Katelyn's Baby Shower

Last weekend we went up to Bellingham for our friend Katelyn's baby shower. Katelyn and I have been friends since high school. She was also one of my bridesmaids in our wedding. She is such a dear friend and I was thrilled to find out many months ago that she was also pregnant. Her baby boy, named Oliver, is due at the end of May. I thought she looked big, but after looking at the pictures of us together, Baby St.Hilaire is definitely getting big and droopy. Here are some pictures of our two boys meeting for the first time:

Our Wiggling Baby

Happy Easter!

We hope you have all had a holy Lent and blessed Easter! We went to the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night. It was very beautiful! I love watching people enter the Church. Yesterday we went to Edmonds to be with my mom's side of the family. We have an annual tradition of going to the Pancake Haus for Easter breakfast. I am not sure how long we have been doing it, but I do remember holding my cousin Megan there when she was a baby- she is now 14. So it has been quite a while! After breakfast we went and put flowers on my grandpa's grave. He passed away at the beginning of Lent. I was very happy to see that many graves were adorned with flowers. It was a good day to think about our beloved deceased and pray for their resurrection with Christ.

After we prayed for Grandpa, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house in North Bend. We had quite a delicious feast! I really love being with my family. =)

I went to confession on Good Friday. The line was very long and my feet were beginning to hurt after about twenty minutes of standing there. I prayed "Lord, I need a Simon of Cyrene to help me now." I'm not sure exactly what I meant, but Our Lord sure did! Not long after I prayed that, one of my friends who was about fifteen people in front of me came over and insisted on trading places in line. I still stood for probably an hour, but it would have been longer if she had not been so generous!

Friday also marked the last day of teaching for me this year. I am not sure at this point if/when I will go back to teaching. It depends a lot on our little boy and his future siblings. Our main priority is for me to stay at home and raise our children, as long as we can afford to do so. I do need to go back in the fall to do my student teaching internship at a public school. I will have to do that for three months, but then I will truly be done with my teaching program and certified!

This morning I find myself grappling to establish some sort of routine. This is a weird transition for me because I have been so busy for the last two years! I am excited to put more effort and love into being a wife, mother, and homemaker.

God bless you all!

Baby Update

We went to our birthing class on Saturday. It was pretty informative, but it made me rather anxious about the birth of Baby St.Hilaire. I have been feeling called to do the birth naturally with no meds. Most of my friends have done so, and they have been very encouraging for me. However, sometimes I come across people who think I am crazy. Maybe I am. I just believe that I am a woman and my body was made to do this, no matter how painful it may be.

This last Sunday I was praying at Mass and offering up my fear of pain. I have been planning on bringing a picture of Jesus on the crucifix as a focal point for the birth. During the consecration at Mass, the words struck me: "This is my Body, given for you." I decided that I want to have that written above the crucifix in my delivery room. Our highest calling is to give our bodies for the life of others--just as Christ did. It makes me cry to think of having the honor of suffering for my child. I will offer any ounce of pain for his holiness.

I am afraid, and my fear grows with each day that passes. But I am trying to transform that fear into humble surrender. With this painful experience quickly approaching, "taking up your cross" has a whole new meaning for me.

On another note, I am really enjoying this last trimester of pregnancy. I can feel basically every movement of the baby. It is so reassuring to feel him rolling around in there. I pray he will be healthy and holy!

"This is my Body, given for you!"

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 7

Chapter 7 ~ "When Thorns Regard Their Roses with Alarm"

• This chapter is about when difficulties arise in marriage.  We all want to get along with our spouses, but let us not merely get along if it means compromising our vocation of getting each other to Heaven.
• 18th Century Madame de Maintenon was a widow hired as a tutor for the children of King Louis XIV.  He later married her after his wife died.  After she became King Lous' wife, Madame de Maintenon wrote a prayer called "Guidance in a High Estate:"
  "...Open the King's heart, that I may instill into it the good thou desirest; and grant that I may please him, comfort him, strengthen him and even afflict him, when it shall be for Thy glory.  Grant that I may never hide from him what he ought to know through me, and which others may not have the courage to tell him. Grant that I may be saved with him, that I may love him in Thee... and that he may love me in the same way."

• "She (wives) must afflict when there is a real lack in her beloved that may harm, spiritually and/or physically, himself or his family."
• "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, thou shalt love thy neighbor; and in each case to love is to will the good of the other.  That is why love is something hard; you want the good of the other so much that you are prepared to see him suffer if necessary, however much it hurts him, and you."
• Also noted in this chapter was the importance of being constructive in your criticism of your spouse and not simply "nit-picky."
  

I think this is one of the most challenging chapters for me to embrace.  It sounds good and necessary to hold our spouses accountable, but how I do dislike confrontation!  But I know that if I really love my husband, I will want the greater Good for him.  I absolutely love the prayer from Madame de Maintenon!  It really hits home the idea that the central focus of married life is to be honest before God and your spouse.  If we are not honest with our spouses, especially when they are doing something (or not doing something) that causes harm, then we are not loving them and living out our vocation in helping them in their call to imitate Christ.

I'M DONE!!!!!!

Ahem, may I have your attention please for an important announcement: 

I am officially done taking night classes!!!  

It is such a relief to have this commitment over with.  Last Thursday night was my last class.  It was my science class and we had a science fair.  We also had a pot luck dinner and we were allowed to invite our family members, so Andrew came to support me.  It was a nice conclusion to this two-year "marathon" (as I call it!).  

On our way home, I was reflecting aloud to Andrew that I really feel Our Lord has been present with me throughout this whole program.  I knew I was taking on a lot last year when I decided to teach and go to school full-time.  Then last February, Andrew proposed and so I was teaching, going to school, and planning a wedding.  Then, after our wedding we found out that I was pregnant.  So now, I have been teaching, going to school, and nurturing Baby St.Hilaire.  Needless to say, I have had my plate full for a long time now.  I can hardly imagine what my life will be like, now that I can focus more on being a wife and mother.  But as I said, God has supported me and blessed me abundantly in the last two years.  There is no way I could have done everything that I did without God's guiding Hand.  

Now I have three more weeks left of teaching.  I will be truly sad to go, as I have really grown a deep love for teaching and my students.  I often refer to them as "my kids" and I feel that they are in a way.  I will truly miss each of them.

However, my heart is in a different place now.  I look to the near future with curiosity, excitement and nervousness. Please keep me and my family in your prayers during this time of transition!

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 6

Chapter 6 ~ The Romance of Thrift

(I'll come back to Chapter 5 later!)

• In reference to an essay GK Chesterton wrote, Chesterton "poopoos the idea of extravagance having a sort of chivalrous and poetical air about it, 'thrift,' he says, 'is the really romantic thing.
  
• When we are thrifty we are more creative in the way we do things.  This creativity is poetic because of the thought and effort put into it, thus it is romantic.
• Instead of filling your home with material items and brand names, work on filling your home with love.  "The more [a wife] spreads love around, the more prolifically it re-seeds itself, springing up in the least likely of places."
• "The important thing, in romancing thrift, is that we create rather than imitate, save rather than waste out talents, our time, and our particular opportunities to grow perfect."

I read this chapter a few weeks ago, and I think it did influence me.  For example, tonight I made some matzo ball soup.  By the end of the meal, we had eaten all the matzo balls but there was still a fair amount of broth left over.  I saved the broth with the idea of using it as stock for a soup later on during this next week.  This kind of thrift was mentioned in this chapter.  

In striving to be a "holy housewife," I should always try to save and use the little things in life.  I italicize the word "use" because I struggle with actually using what I save, sometimes things I save sit unused in the fridge for so long that I end up throwing it out.  It is only good to save something if you are really going to use it; otherwise it will just add to the clutter.  The last thing I need is more clutter! =)

Editing Genius

Having experience with both music and video editing, I have to say, whoever put the following video together is an editing genius and master.  Enjoy!

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 4

Chapter 4 ~ What the Old Man Does is Always Right

• "A wife's faith in her husband begets faith in himself--if she believes in him and lets him know it, how can a man fail? Perhaps he will make wrong decisions and in the eye of the world be a flop financially or socially and never, never be invited to join the country club, but if he knows that this matters not a bit to his wife (who loves him for what he is, her sacramental lifeline), why, this is enough to make a Man out of a man!"

• "A wife's obedience to her husband is not a blind subservience but a loving loyalty."

• With the recent passing of my grandfather, this chapter gave me thoughts about the beauty of the Sacrament of marriage. My job as a wife is to build up my husband and believe in him. I need to help him grow closer to God by showing him my unconditional love for him. My grandparents were married almost 51 years. In a eulogy my Aunt Leslie gave, she mentioned that her dad built his home around her mom. The way my aunt described him was that he centered his life around serving my grandma. She said that her dad showed her what it meant to be a man through his example as a husband and father.

• This chapter also reminded me of Ephesians 5 and how often it is misinterpreted. Women are to submit to their husbands. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the Church? - He gave his life for her! What woman would not want to submit to that kind of love?