On our way back from the store we passed by some people who were smoking. Once I was beyond them, one of the men (in his 20s) said "I would never wear that thing... it looks like she is pregnant again." It is always awkward when you hear someone talking about you and they think you can't hear. In my head, I turned around and said "If you are going to be negative, please wait until I can't hear you." But the real Lindsey is way too timid to say that to a stranger. The "in my head" Lindsey is so bold sometimes!!
This negative comment made me think about how motherhood is so unappreciated. First of all, I wouldn't mind being pregnant again, so his "negative" comment was not really that negative. I think every aspect of motherhood is beautiful, albeit challenging at times. For example, it is a good day for me when I even get dressed and out of the house! When you have a baby, doing anything takes at least twice as much time. Using the wrap probably saved me 15-20 minutes! And we all know how precious time is.
I am reading a book right now called How to Change Your Husband. The title is effectively deceiving, because the book is all about how to be a better wife. This book has been an amazing read. I have learned so much about my vocation as wife and mother. One of the points the author makes is that staying at home to raise your children is the best gift a mother can give to her children, husband, and herself.
In our culture, staying at home to raise children is frowned upon -at best. Andrew and I hope that I will be able to stay at home with our children. God has really pointed us in this direction and given us much support to make it happen. However, I know it will be difficult and I will be faced with disparaging comments such as the one above.
More wisdom from the book How to Change Your Husband:
"Those wives who [stay at home to raise their children and keep their home] will be martyrs because it will be difficult to do that all society is not doing. It will be like swimming against the tide, but happiness and fulfillment awaits the mother who tries and makes it to her island, her home."
The comment I heard today puts a pit in my stomach. But I know being a mother is and will be wonderful. I just pray that man will open his heart towards parenting and... wearing your baby in a wrap! (Babies like it!)
Re: the guy making disparaging comments about a beautiful mother and childReplyDelete
LEMME AT 'IM! LEMME AT 'IM!
Don't let it get to you, Linds. That guy has a mother, too, and if he can't see the beauty and virtue in you carrying your own son around... well, we need to pray for whatever issues he has. In the meantime, chin up! We love all three of you!
I clicked on this because of the recent comment about disparaging comments to see what someone might have said, and now I have comment that isn't necessarily related to the post. :)ReplyDelete
You said that the book "How to Change Your Husband" is really about how to be a better wife. In every troubled marriage that I've ever heard of, aside from the ones that involve substance abuse (where people say things like "my spouse just won't change" or especially "we just fell out of love" and "it just isn't working out [mostly because of the other person]"), the solution has always seemed to be to change yourself rather than blame the other person and go on about how horrible they are. I've heard of instances where one spouse decides that they're going to change themselves and begins to make sacrifices for the other person (going out of their way to do loving things, taking on some of that person's chores, etc.), and in these instances the other person has always seen this and changed themselves. This isn't to say that it always works, because sometimes a person can just be that stubborn. The movie "Fireproof" is an interesting example (and the only instance that I've heard of where the guy changed first... and it's just a movie... :) ).
It's too bad that so many people in society don't understand that love involves self-sacrifice and are so focused on trying to place the blame externally. Well, that's it; I just couldn't help myself. That book sounds really interesting.
Hi Lindsey - Jennifer Spinner here, you were one of Emily's "Little Flowers" teachers and I linked to your blog through Tom and Carrie's site.ReplyDelete
I'm with you on the comments - I always have just the right thing to say in my head or twenty minutes later. I wonder, however, what good the response would do?
Our world has become such a sick and dangerous place - when I take my children to the playground, I hesitate to ask high school children (why are they at the playground anyway?) to watch their mouths. Must we say the "F-word" so much, children?
Instead, I round up my children and move to another park. It's easier (and safer) than taking the risk, particularly as a pregnant woman with two (or more) children in tow! My grandmother-in-law tells me I should get a tazer, but I'm resisting the urge.
My journey to "housewifery" took me from a rather successful Navy career as a journalist to a life of obscurity and anonymity, at least as far as the world is concerned. We lost 65% of income and I was thrust into the world of full-time mothering and homeschooling... not to mention a move from Georgia to Washington. It was difficult and quite painful, but I realized through it all that we were right in the middle of where God wanted us to be, even if it was a seemingly foolish and undesirable path in the minds of our friends and family.
It is so obvious that the Lord has blessed your family and I am certain He will continue to do so. You may not have the approval of the world, but you certainly have the approval and support of those who matter most - your family and friends - and God Himself!