Baby Update

We went to our birthing class on Saturday. It was pretty informative, but it made me rather anxious about the birth of Baby St.Hilaire. I have been feeling called to do the birth naturally with no meds. Most of my friends have done so, and they have been very encouraging for me. However, sometimes I come across people who think I am crazy. Maybe I am. I just believe that I am a woman and my body was made to do this, no matter how painful it may be.

This last Sunday I was praying at Mass and offering up my fear of pain. I have been planning on bringing a picture of Jesus on the crucifix as a focal point for the birth. During the consecration at Mass, the words struck me: "This is my Body, given for you." I decided that I want to have that written above the crucifix in my delivery room. Our highest calling is to give our bodies for the life of others--just as Christ did. It makes me cry to think of having the honor of suffering for my child. I will offer any ounce of pain for his holiness.

I am afraid, and my fear grows with each day that passes. But I am trying to transform that fear into humble surrender. With this painful experience quickly approaching, "taking up your cross" has a whole new meaning for me.

On another note, I am really enjoying this last trimester of pregnancy. I can feel basically every movement of the baby. It is so reassuring to feel him rolling around in there. I pray he will be healthy and holy!

"This is my Body, given for you!"

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 7

Chapter 7 ~ "When Thorns Regard Their Roses with Alarm"

• This chapter is about when difficulties arise in marriage.  We all want to get along with our spouses, but let us not merely get along if it means compromising our vocation of getting each other to Heaven.
• 18th Century Madame de Maintenon was a widow hired as a tutor for the children of King Louis XIV.  He later married her after his wife died.  After she became King Lous' wife, Madame de Maintenon wrote a prayer called "Guidance in a High Estate:"
  "...Open the King's heart, that I may instill into it the good thou desirest; and grant that I may please him, comfort him, strengthen him and even afflict him, when it shall be for Thy glory.  Grant that I may never hide from him what he ought to know through me, and which others may not have the courage to tell him. Grant that I may be saved with him, that I may love him in Thee... and that he may love me in the same way."

• "She (wives) must afflict when there is a real lack in her beloved that may harm, spiritually and/or physically, himself or his family."
• "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, thou shalt love thy neighbor; and in each case to love is to will the good of the other.  That is why love is something hard; you want the good of the other so much that you are prepared to see him suffer if necessary, however much it hurts him, and you."
• Also noted in this chapter was the importance of being constructive in your criticism of your spouse and not simply "nit-picky."
  

I think this is one of the most challenging chapters for me to embrace.  It sounds good and necessary to hold our spouses accountable, but how I do dislike confrontation!  But I know that if I really love my husband, I will want the greater Good for him.  I absolutely love the prayer from Madame de Maintenon!  It really hits home the idea that the central focus of married life is to be honest before God and your spouse.  If we are not honest with our spouses, especially when they are doing something (or not doing something) that causes harm, then we are not loving them and living out our vocation in helping them in their call to imitate Christ.

I'M DONE!!!!!!

Ahem, may I have your attention please for an important announcement: 

I am officially done taking night classes!!!  

It is such a relief to have this commitment over with.  Last Thursday night was my last class.  It was my science class and we had a science fair.  We also had a pot luck dinner and we were allowed to invite our family members, so Andrew came to support me.  It was a nice conclusion to this two-year "marathon" (as I call it!).  

On our way home, I was reflecting aloud to Andrew that I really feel Our Lord has been present with me throughout this whole program.  I knew I was taking on a lot last year when I decided to teach and go to school full-time.  Then last February, Andrew proposed and so I was teaching, going to school, and planning a wedding.  Then, after our wedding we found out that I was pregnant.  So now, I have been teaching, going to school, and nurturing Baby St.Hilaire.  Needless to say, I have had my plate full for a long time now.  I can hardly imagine what my life will be like, now that I can focus more on being a wife and mother.  But as I said, God has supported me and blessed me abundantly in the last two years.  There is no way I could have done everything that I did without God's guiding Hand.  

Now I have three more weeks left of teaching.  I will be truly sad to go, as I have really grown a deep love for teaching and my students.  I often refer to them as "my kids" and I feel that they are in a way.  I will truly miss each of them.

However, my heart is in a different place now.  I look to the near future with curiosity, excitement and nervousness. Please keep me and my family in your prayers during this time of transition!

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 6

Chapter 6 ~ The Romance of Thrift

(I'll come back to Chapter 5 later!)

• In reference to an essay GK Chesterton wrote, Chesterton "poopoos the idea of extravagance having a sort of chivalrous and poetical air about it, 'thrift,' he says, 'is the really romantic thing.
  
• When we are thrifty we are more creative in the way we do things.  This creativity is poetic because of the thought and effort put into it, thus it is romantic.
• Instead of filling your home with material items and brand names, work on filling your home with love.  "The more [a wife] spreads love around, the more prolifically it re-seeds itself, springing up in the least likely of places."
• "The important thing, in romancing thrift, is that we create rather than imitate, save rather than waste out talents, our time, and our particular opportunities to grow perfect."

I read this chapter a few weeks ago, and I think it did influence me.  For example, tonight I made some matzo ball soup.  By the end of the meal, we had eaten all the matzo balls but there was still a fair amount of broth left over.  I saved the broth with the idea of using it as stock for a soup later on during this next week.  This kind of thrift was mentioned in this chapter.  

In striving to be a "holy housewife," I should always try to save and use the little things in life.  I italicize the word "use" because I struggle with actually using what I save, sometimes things I save sit unused in the fridge for so long that I end up throwing it out.  It is only good to save something if you are really going to use it; otherwise it will just add to the clutter.  The last thing I need is more clutter! =)

Editing Genius

Having experience with both music and video editing, I have to say, whoever put the following video together is an editing genius and master.  Enjoy!

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 4

Chapter 4 ~ What the Old Man Does is Always Right

• "A wife's faith in her husband begets faith in himself--if she believes in him and lets him know it, how can a man fail? Perhaps he will make wrong decisions and in the eye of the world be a flop financially or socially and never, never be invited to join the country club, but if he knows that this matters not a bit to his wife (who loves him for what he is, her sacramental lifeline), why, this is enough to make a Man out of a man!"

• "A wife's obedience to her husband is not a blind subservience but a loving loyalty."

• With the recent passing of my grandfather, this chapter gave me thoughts about the beauty of the Sacrament of marriage. My job as a wife is to build up my husband and believe in him. I need to help him grow closer to God by showing him my unconditional love for him. My grandparents were married almost 51 years. In a eulogy my Aunt Leslie gave, she mentioned that her dad built his home around her mom. The way my aunt described him was that he centered his life around serving my grandma. She said that her dad showed her what it meant to be a man through his example as a husband and father.

• This chapter also reminded me of Ephesians 5 and how often it is misinterpreted. Women are to submit to their husbands. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the Church? - He gave his life for her! What woman would not want to submit to that kind of love?

Ants (part 2)

About a month ago, our uninvited guests started trickling in again. We'd spot one or two little rascals scavenging the floor for something to nibble on. It was manageable, so long as the number of them was fewer than or equal to the number of fingers we had to squish them with.

Minutes before Lindsey and I were about to leave for a weekend in Oregon, I happened to discover something awry in the sugar bowl:


I could only imagine the ecstasy these ants were in. The feeling was not reciprocated. That is, not until we left them to drown in the sink.... muhahahah!

We've since noticed these ants have a distinct odor to them. At least when you squish them. It's a potent, toxic-like smell. This from Wikipedia:

"the sugar ant (depending on species) can defend itself by spraying acid from their abdomens to deter predators."

Well, it may be repulsive, but it's not enough to deter us "predators."

We've since started using bait again. They seem to like it, although to recall our experience from the summer, they ate from the bait in droves for two solid weeks, and it never seemed to have any effect. It seemed we were merely treating the enemy to a tasty meal. Overall, their numbers seem far less than back in the summer. The bait for now has them controlled to one spot in the house, so we'll just have to wait and see if it will have any effect.

I must say, I marvel at their resilience. They are determined little buggers.

See Ants (part 1)

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 3

Chapter 3 ~ What, Me Worry?

• "Let nothing disturb thee, nothing affright thee, all things are passing" - St. Teresa
• "We must have a supernatural view that all will work out to the good, no matter how bewildering life seems at the moment."
• "When we worry we are politely disbelieving God's promise that if we seek first the Kingdom of God, all else will be added."
• Yet simply trusting God and not working to provide for ourselves will not do.  As St. Ignatius once said, "We must work as if everything depends on us, and pray as if everything depends on God."
• When we are faced with endless worrying it may help to stand back and think: "In the light of eternity--so what?"
• Today being Ash Wednesday, I found reading this chapter to be very appropriate.  This morning I went to Mass and was reminded that I am dust and to dust I shall return.  When I think about my life in this way, the worries that fill my mind seem so trivial.
• This chapter also made me think of my favorite Gospel passage: Luke 12:22-34

As a side note (kind of) please keep my grandpa in your prayers.  He has been in the hospital since Monday morning.  He has cancer, which we have known about, but he was admitted on Monday for bleeding in the brain.  The doctors are not sure what exactly caused this, but he is not expected to make it through the week.  So pray for a holy death.  I thought about him today when I received my ashes at Mass: "To dust you shall return."  Also, please keep my grandma in your prayers.  I know she will deeply miss her beloved spouse.  Thank you so much!

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 2

Chapter 2 ~ Pollyanna was a good kid

• "There is nothing phony in ferreting out joy.  It takes courage to dig deep and constantly.  It takes courage to not succumb to ever-waiting-around-the-corner self-pity.  
• There are so many things in the day that could be a cause to dwell in negativity, but finding joy in each moment will lead to your sanctity.
• Play the "glad-game": look for the good in what you have now, right this moment--or in what you are or what you are doing.  "When we start playing [the glad game], frilling it up with our spiritual motif, it becomes an involuntary, subconscious thing.  It gets in your blood, you become an addict.  You'll even smile when the bills come in." (I don't know about that one!)
• The story of St. Germaine was told in this chapter.  Her story is basically that of a Saintly Cinderella.  She lived with much physical suffering and her stepmother treated her like she was less than human.  She slept in a barn with the sheep and was in charge of them. Through all this physical and emotional suffering, St. Germaine was joyful.  Her "joy was not contagious.  The townspeople considered her the village idiot for being happy with so little reason, and they subjected her to the open ridicule and suspicion this position bestows."
• Inspired by St. Germaine, I realize that I need to be more joyful--not necessarily for the purpose of spreading it to others, but just because joy is the fruit of love and to be loving is to be in close union with God.  If I want to be closer to God, then I should try more earnestly to live out the virtue of joy.
• "Cheer up, tomorrow may be worse!"

Holy Housewifery ~ Chapter 1

I just began reading a book called Holy Housewifery by Ethel Marbach.  It was written in the 60s and definitely has a 60s flavor to it, but I find it refreshing and very applicable to my life!  I thought it would be a good idea to post some highlights I find in the chapters so I can pass on the wisdom of a 60s "holy housewife."

Chapter 1 ~ Folk Dancing is for Other People

• Many of the other wives we know may have good ideas about how to encourage holiness in their family members, but their ideas may not work the same in your household.  The key is to adapt ideas, not necessarily adopt ideas.  Face it, we are all different and we should not compare the holy habits of others to our own.  Our Lord wants us to be holy in a specific and personal way.  
• "Family rituals, traditions, all must be suited to the personalities [you] live with."
• Individual sanctity within the family: "How can we possibly know for certain that our idea about the proposed perfection of any one individual is the same as God's idea?...They belong to Him; they are only lent to us."
• "How often our hopes are that our children be reflections of ourselves, rather than the unique being that they are.  It is our job to help them become saints, but more, help them to do it in their own way."
• Even though Baby St.Hilaire is not born yet, I have begun developing hopes that he has a calling to the priesthood.  After reading this chapter, I realize more that I should not impose a vocation on him; rather, I should help him be open to whatever Our Lord may be calling him to.  It is so neat to think that God already has a special plan for our son.