Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Random Reflections

Andrew and I have a holy hour together on Wednesday nights. Tonight I read from the book I am working on: Difficulties in Mental Prayer.  This book is loaded with insightful tidbits about prayer and struggles that come with seeking a relationship with Christ.  Sometimes... ok let's be honest, most of the time I have difficulties in acknowledging Christ's presence throughout my day.  Also when I am at Mass or at my holy hour, I have a hard time really focusing on Christ's presence in the Eucharist.  I do believe he is present, but more with my head and less with my heart.  

Comparatively, during most of the day I do not really think about the baby growing inside me.  I am so busy that he becomes an afterthought.  It is really only his kicking that draws my attention back to recognizing that I have a little man growing inside me.  As I sat before the Blessed Sacrament tonight, I stared at my stomach and tried to imagine him being inside there. All I could see was a big belly!  It was so hard for me to contemplate his life--Just like it is hard for me to imagine Jesus being with me always and being present in the Eucharist.  It is amazing that I have been sharing my body with Baby St.Hilaire for a full 5 months now.  I am really honored to do it!  And in a short while his life will be revealed to me in his birth.  Then I will really know he is there and I won't be able to forget about him during the day.  

I hope at some point in my life, Christ's presence will be revealed to me also.  I never want Christ to be an afterthought in my day, or just someone I speak briefly to.  I want my relationship with Him to be real, one filled with true friendship and love.  

1 comment:

  1. You've probably done this already, but it's really cool to contemplate on baby immediately after receiving the Eucharist. I always thought about nourishing Clare with Christ after receiving. That seemed to connect the two dots together nicely :)